blissful blessings.

Some teachers' problems..

2012-02-10T13:05:00.000+08:00

In Hafazan class, the Tahfiz students are encouraged (with a little force and threats being used also) to memorize at least 3 pages of the Quran per week, which is by average a page for every class. That's the general target.

But all of these students have different capabilities. Some can memorize up to 4 PAGES EACH TIME THERE'S A CLASS, and they really work hard for it. I can see they have their own personal targets, they take this Hafazan thing seriously and with this kind of vision, they outdo their classmates. And also the targets X)

Another group is those who memorize only a page every week. I can see how hard they actually tried in class, they will still be reading the Quran till the last minute though their friends have already stopped, and they'll come repeatedly to me to be checked and failed several times but will still try again.

I... really don't know what to do with this type of students. I understand they have actually tried to reach the target but they just can't, that was the best they could have done. At the same time I'm being pushed by other teachers to make sure every student reaches the weekly target. I understand the concerns these teachers have. And I don't know what to do. Like seriously.

I don't really have the heart to scold them or punish them, I really can't do it. So as an alternative, ceh, I tried delicately threatening to punish them but actually I have never carried it out. Lol. I just can't. Some told me their problems, and I offered some advice that I think might be helpful but that's all I can do for now. Well, being a teacher is hard. Haha. So if you know anything else I could actually do you can tell me.

Some actually managed to memorize a bit faster when forced because they were too scared of me. Lol. And some nearly cried when forced and end up memorizing nothing at all.

Not to forget, there's another type of students, those who are just plain lazy. They have to be forced first, then they'll start memorizing. They'll stop at a page for each class and spend the free time talking. They reach the weekly target, so there's no reason to actually be mad at them, but I was somehow pissed off. But I held it back inside. Haha. They could have done much more but they choose to be that way, what more can I say?

So handling a Hafazan class comes with its own challenges. All jobs come with challenges I suppose. But I have always thought a Hafazan class is something easy to handle. So I was wrong I guess X)

When I was told that I have to teach QTH (it stands for Quran Tajwid and Hafazan, and it's for non-Tahfiz students, just so you know) to a Form 1 class, I freaked out. Literally. This is due to the reasons that

1) I loathe situations in which I have to enter a class and expect the students to stand up so I can give the Salam properly. I seriously don't know how to act at that time. And I always have this thought of what if they just looked at me and didn't want to stand up?

2) I never ever went to any QTH class in my whole life. So I don't know what to expect. And I know it'll be weird.

3) I fear that I might be a bit too hard on them, for the fact that I am used to be pushed and pushing people in the Hafazan classes, so I might somehow forgot that QTH classes are different.

I took the class anyway. And yes all the three situations happened. Haha. But I survived it nonetheless.

From this experience, I'm beginning to appreciate and understand the fact that people are different. They come with different capabilities and areas of expertise. Ceh. What works to a student may not work to the other.

I have come to realize that a teacher's job is not limited to teaching only. They need to do some kind of personal assessment on the students, and identify in what way should the students be taught. I know it's extremely hard and a bit time-consuming. But I think it really is the best thing to do in order to make sure teachers can teach efficiently. Lol.

So I have somehow recognized some students that I need to be a bit nice to or else they'll be broken inside (lol), some I should just do it the hard way, and some I should just ignore when they look like they'll start crying anytime (because basically they just want more attention and a reason to not do anything) and some need slow-talking session. Hahaha.

Please pray so that I can do my best, okay? Although this job is temporary and I was reluctant to do it in the first place, I don't want to be paid for a job not properly done. It just doesn't feel right (because obviously it's wrong, lol)

I would like to take this opportunity to say A VERY BIG THANK YOU to all my teachers. I never knew it was this hard, and what I'm currently experiencing is maybe only a little fraction compared to what all of you have been facing all this while. Thank you, teachers. May Allah bless all your efforts :)

p.s. Ceh why do I sound like a real teacher now? I guess this is what a job does to you X)

p.p.s Eh what if some of my students are reading this? Erkkkk no offense okay? I'm just observing the situation and I might be wrong :P

Of what's happening X)

2012-02-03T13:02:00.000+08:00

Oh why hello everyone :) It has been quite a time since I last rambled here, eheh. What to do, not much time can be spent on this blog since I'm a working person now (LOL show-off) and rarely stays at home.

So what happened to me these few days was, I was ~~forced~~ asked to replace a teacher who had just resigned. I'm temporarily taking her place until a new teacher is willing to take my place lol. So now I'm a teacher, with classes, with students, with specific working hours, and with salary hahaha.

I am provided with my own desk in the teachers' room. Lol this is all too much for me to take. It feels weird to stay in the same room with YOUR OWN TEACHERS last year and.. I feel so out of place. Lol. So I rarely stays there whenever I'm free and spend my time at the Chemistry lab instead.

Anis is now the Lab Assistant so her room is kind of a meeting place for all of us haha. Oh by 'all of us' I mean my friends and I. And my social circles are always changing, depending on who's available at school that day. Haha. Sometimes it's Dalila (who's also working as a teacher lol), sometimes it's 'The School Magazine Team' XD, and sometimes it's the R2S2 participants.

Anyway, I'm taking my first ever official leave for today so that's why I'm here blogging. All of these make me feel so grown-up. Lol. And another thing this job taught me is to choose your career path well. Haha. I'm so not going to be a teacher in my future. I don't have the patience, the spirit, the commitment, the attitude and of course, the ability. Lol. A temporary experience is okay, but to be on this path for my whole life, I don't think so. Except if Allah plans otherwise for me :)

So goodbye people! Oh btw I have a driving test in two weeks, ngehngeh XD. I'm wishing myself all the best for a legal driving license ~~so that I can stop committing this offense of driving illegally X)~~

Islam; the misunderstood religion.

2012-01-19T09:45:00.000+08:00

It's tiring to have your life revolved around this non-productive routine (TV, Internet and phones all day long) and I'm beginning to feel spiritually void. I'm in dire need of something to feed my starving soul (cewahhh!) since I've not been to any usrah since SPM and I no longer have my friends around me to constantly remind me about.. things I forgot.

Looks like I have to remind myself. So then, I resort to an alternative, to read books to help me spiritually.

This is one of the books that I've finished reading.

This book is written by Dr. Danial, and actually is dedicated to non-Muslims in order to improve their understanding of Islam as this religion has so often been misjudged and misunderstood, due to the negative image painted by the Western media. Muslims worldwide has always been ill-treated, revoked of their rights and considered second-class in the West or sometimes, of no place in the society at all. This book explains all these misunderstandings, it conveys the truth about Islam and the message it brings.

Though this book is supposedly for non-Muslims, I strongly recommend every Muslim who is in some need to understand his religion better to read this book. Sometimes, we ourselves do not understand some basic principles and laws in our religion, even after practicing it our whole life.

This books explains the very basic fundamentals of Islam, some of them I already knew but am very happy to receive more explanation about them. It told me things I do not know, reminded me of things I already knew, clarified things I didn't understand, answered my questions and justified things I failed to justify myself. Although it was a bit repetitive in some of its points, as a whole I think this book is still a quite good read.

If I am to name a particular chapter I personally like, it would be "The Position of Women In Islam". This chapter focuses a lot on hijab, the principles behind it, of how it is empowering women rather than oppressing them as many thought so. It is kind of ironic, the fact that the Western media has often portrayed hijab as some kind of oppression towards women, yet women form the majority of converts in the West. These women's thoughts are recorded in this book, and it's kind of moving to read why they chose to be a Muslim despite the kind of environment they are living in.

The issue of polygamy also was briefly explained and I think the explanations and justifications are satisfactory enough. Another issue highlighted was the issue of terrorism. Islam condemns all kind of terrorism, what it condones is jihad, which is a distinctively different thing to terrorism. But sadly, these two words have always been referred to as synonyms when they actually aren't.

All in all, I think everyone should spend some time (and eh, money too of course) to read this book. It managed to strengthen my belief in this religion we so dearly love and want to die in. Islam is, indeed, a message of peace and is a strong upholder of human rights. To see this truth, we just need to understand it better.

At home, I happen to do less talking. Hence, more blogging :D

2012-01-10T10:03:00.000+08:00

Staying at home has its drawbacks you know. I mean, you have plenty of time in which you don't know how to spend them, or worse, you made yourself an amazing schedule that even you were impressed with how productive it is but you end up not following anything planned (which is what happened in my case). So I happen to strengthen my relationship with my bed, roam endlessly in the kitchen looking for food that is never there, or press the controller button until it's broken looking for anything interesting on TV.

I'm contemplating on what should I apply for UPU because I haven't really made up my mind yet. I used to be interested in law for some reason, but my interest is an on-off thing. I think I have a problem in sustaining my interest for something for a long time. I made a research on scholarships, and not many of them offer scholarships for law. Which is rather, worrying.

I'm kind of considering accounting (heck, I've been thinking about this since form 4) but I'm not really sure. I don't really know what accounting is all about, haha. I'm just interested because I am mainly curious about things I don't know. So is accounting a good choice? I don't know. Maybe I should just forget my dislike towards sciences and take up one of them. A lot of scholarships are offered for medicine. I wonder why. I thought Malaysia is already overflowed with doctors. But apparently they think not. Maybe I should just go with the flow and study sciences (gulp).

I considered applying for the UWC scholarship but after looking at the form, it was considerably scary and so I decided not to. Haha. The form asked a lot of things, such as 'What hobbies/interests do you have that do not involve school?'. My life this few years back have pretty much revolved around school, alone, so I do not have the answer for that question. The next question, 'Please give details of a community service/ volunteer work that you have been involved in for at least 6 month'. What? Khidmat masyarakat KRS? I'd rather die than to complete this form. Shame.

So surprisingly I have just realized, all those school years spent are still inadequate to satisfy these mean sponsors. We should all just stop studying. Heh.

Whatever. I'm going to spend these few weeks (or months, or even possibly years) trying to figure out what I want to be in future. I'm kind of tired of the endless pressure of how we should all try to be somebody. I mean, if everybody is somebody, who will be the nobody then?! Eh okay maybe we should all be somebody. What's the point of living if you haven't done (or not going to do) anything significant, right?

So good luck people. To those who have decided what to pursue in your future, congratulations. I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision ;)

Of us and the judgement we make.

2012-01-06T09:20:00.001+08:00

These few weeks even though I was at home for most times, I was presented with certain issues and happenings all around the world (*the power of internet lol) and so I'm here to promulgate my opinion (which is rather affected by the people around me but whatever)

A few weeks ago, I can't remember the exact date (ubiquitous problems of a school-leaver XD) but Malaysia was shocked by the news of Ariff Alfian's marriage to Jonathan. Then Malaysia again was made upset by the incident of Adam Adli lowering a flag. Then Malaysia was very much horrified by what happened to Amalina Che Bakri, our hugest success a few years back. Awww, pity Malaysia and the many other shocks it gets! :O

So anyway, I got this quote on twitter, (and I may have changed it a little bit to fit it into this situation better :P)

Upon receiving a news, listen, study, evaluate, and learn from it.

See the steps? Listen to the news, then study the news, then evaluate, then learn something from it.

Fact #1: Malays~~ians~~ tend to skip and dismiss the first and second step, which might as well be the most important step of all. Upon receiving a news, we often go straight to evaluating (or in better term, judging) the news without studying it first.

This is a very big mistake.

When we first heard the news of Ariff Alfian, we were in a very deep shock because gay marriages doesn't happen here often. What's more with the groom (or bride, I'm getting confused here XD) wearing a Baju Melayu AND a tengkolok, now that's something totally unnatural. Then people started condemning Ariff Alfian and linked his marriage with his loan problems (I mean, where is the link?!) and people labelled him bad, rosak akhlak, tersesat and whatsoever.

The same case happened to Amalina Che Bakri. When her bad-girl pictures went out on Facebook, people went into a commotion. She was said to have a "culture shock" and she failed her studies because of the "culture shock" (now seriously, where is the link?! People can be absurdly delusional sometimes). Everyone condemned her, judged her. So then she gave a statement, she was doing perfectly well in her studies, and probably much better than everyone else too (see? Stop relating things which are totally unrelated, people)

Get this clear, I'm not supporting anything they do. I'm not denying that what they did was wrong. I'm not saying that we should all follow them or let them be. What I'm saying is STOP JUDGING PEOPLE.

I too, have judged people. I too, have made this mistake. And I'm right now trying to change myself and be more accepting.

Yes, people tend to judge what is presented upon their eyes. Many lack the ability to look behind the surface, to read between the lines (or in better term, to think). Upon hearing something, stop right there, halt your judgement a little bit. Even though what they did was undeniably wrong. They deserve a right to at least defend themselves.

What we all should do is to listen. We talk, we judge, we discriminate but we never listen. Shut your mouth up for some time, try to listen to someone else's voice instead of yours, and don't be a narrow biased thinker, find the other side of the story and LISTEN WELL. Listen to both sides, look at the issue from different angles and then only you draw your own conclusion.

Before we accept or reject something, the most essential thing to do is to get to know the thing first. Accepting or rejecting without adequate knowledge on the issue will only show how stupid and one-sided you are.

Like in politics (favourite issue, woahhh :P), I'm just saying, everyone should learn to listen to THE OTHER SIDE. For example, people who supports opposition really hate Utusan Malaysia because they say the news is biased towards the government and would resort to Harakah, Suara Keadilan and blogs written by opposition-supporters for their most trusted source of news. Same goes for the ones supporting government. Malas aku nak bebel panjang pasal ni. The point is, both stories are biased anyway. So what's the difference?

What harm will it do us to read both Utusan and Harakah? At least we are reading news from two different perspective, we are more open to views and perhaps we would be able to understand the whole situation better. I don't understand why people are being lied straight to their face yet they are not resisting it at all.

Islam doesn't teach us to discriminate, to have double standards. Yesterday I learnt a new term, serbanista (which is not an official term so don't use this in essays XD). Serbanista refers to sanctimonious, holier-than-thou individuals who would like to enforce a certain religious standard on others (this is the definition I got from someone). And sadly, there are a lot of serbanistas out there.

People, if you are wearing tudung, you should not judge people who goes free-hair. If you are wearing a tudung labuh, you should not judge people who wears short tudungs. Similarly when you see someone wearing a tudung labuh and you're not, you should not automatically judge them as extremists. When you see people goes bowling in baju kurung, you should not underestimate them (talking from personal experience lol)

Islam is a religion of peace. It tells people to do da'wah with hikmah. I understand that some people are condemning for a good cause (?). They want to see these wrong-doers to change and be a better person and stop doing wrongs. But forcing, coercing, and being hard on others won't help you to achieve this objective. I was once condemned openly and personally for what I did, and in the end all it did to me was to cause me to be more rebellious and resistant (but I swear I'm totally changed now, or at least I'm trying lol).

People, if you want to criticize openly, you can, but don't let your criticism gets personal. What I mean is, don't let it look as if you're focusing on a particular person. Let it remains general, and just hope so that those who are related will realize it themselves, and those who aren't related will never know who you're talking about specifically. If you want to advice someone specifically, do it in private, he would accept your advice much better.

The world would be a much better place if people stop judging and start listening.

p.s. Who are we to judge people anyway? We may give advice, guide people and do whatever we can to help these people we think need help, but leave the judging part to Allah.

p.p.s. I know this post is a bit unclear and incomplete and messy, but I can't think and organize right now lol. I'll try to improve this later okay?

p.p.p.s Oh yes. I would like to seek forgiveness to whom I've ever judged, condemned, discriminated. And I've already forgiven those who did the same to me :P

p.p.p.p.s Well I have just realized, this is quite a long post. Haha. Too eager to speak my mind lol.

A fresh start

2012-01-02T22:32:00.002+08:00

Hello world, Hello 2012 :)

I have just gotten the opportunity and mood to write a new year post, so hello. I spent my new year's eve eating out with my family and slept at 9.30 pm. Haha it was the first time I ever sleep before midnight since I started my long holiday.

I'm very excited to know what 2012 has to offer me. 2011 has been helping a lot in my growing-up process. There were a lot of things it taught me. It taught me about doing sacrifices, having priorities, appreciating friends, accepting criticisms, opening minds, being grateful and expecting the unexpected. I am very much thankful to everyone who participated in my maturing process, be it on purpose or not, my parents family teachers friends enemies acquaintances juniors seniors and everyone else.

So, after 3 weeks of holiday, I got my L license, finished 15 books altogether, watched a few movies and read on a few issues haha. And despite the fact that some people have already feel bored staying at home, I feel completely blissful and am really enjoying my fulfilling life :D

This opportunity doesn't come often. To be told to have a few months of holiday, I wouldn't say no to it :P

This evergreen issue..

2011-12-27T11:34:00.000+08:00

It was 1 in the morning and I was playing a computer game when I got a Facebook message. I was quite, err you can say, surprised, to see a 13-year-old girl asking me a question I haven't heard of for so long. So I'm quoting her right now;

"Akak, how wrong is it to chat with a boy, just for fun? He's your friend and nothing more."

She said nobody has ever explained to her why is it wrong. Oh no she's not from Hidayah, she's from somewhere else. I took quite a long time to think of the appropriate answer. Well, at least that situation told me something, I have never actually prepared myself well to answer these kind of questions. Because I have so often listened to people answering the question, so I know the answer but I wasn't really sure of the best way to put it into words.

After quite some time I gave her my answer. And well, it was not a very good answer so I won't bother putting it here. But she seemed satisfied at that moment, so I felt, good. Haha.

So people, you might scroll down or click X and won't bother reading this but I'm going to write this down anyway.

Every law in Islam does not only exist to solve problems or punishing criminals, but it is also there to serve the purpose of deterrence. Like what the Malays call as 'cegah sebelum parah'. Islam emphasises on moderation and is not an extreme religion, so you can't say chatting with a boy is haram altogether. It is permissible in certain conditions where the necessity can be justified, and not by your brain but by Islam. I'm not going to elaborate on that 'certain conditions' here.

According to certain ulama, selling grapes to someone who makes alcohol to drink is forbidden. Even though you are not really sure whether he would use that grapes to make alcohol or not, maybe he just wants to eat it, but still it is not allowed. This is because Islam intends to close the paths that may lead to something bad. Islam deters the haram thing from happening in the first place. Because yeah, grapes and a wine maker, when combined, can produce a bad thing.

The same concept goes with this male-female relationship. Because a male and a female when put together, something bad might happen and this is not to be denied. So to prevent something worse from happening (which is zina), Islam closes the paths that may lead to it in the first place. Islam forbids any kind of intimate relationship within two different genders, Islam tells people to cover their aurat, Islam tells people to have limits in everything they do and so on and so forth. This shows how much Islam wants to prevent zina from happening.

In Surah Al Baqarah, verse 219, Allah said; They ask you about wine and gambling. Say, "In them is great sin and [yet, some] benefit for people. But their sin is greater than their benefit."

When the bad outweighs the good, although there is something good, it is still forbidden. This is what I mean by the laws in Islam acting as a form of deterrence.

Just to make things clear, Islam is not telling you to be paranoid and to expect the worst of people at all times. For example, just because some people use their phones to do bad things, that doesn't mean that you should not allow everyone to use their phone. If someone is using the Internet to watch porn, that doesn't mean that all of us should cut off our Internet altogether. This is because there are some clear benefits that we can get from the Internet and the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. To ban handphones and cameras during a school trip is truly unnecessary, I should say :P

I may not be the best explainer but this is the best I can try. I'm not trying to act smart or showing off my knowledge, I am just sharing what I know and making my stance clear. If I said something wrong, feel free to correct me okay? May Allah bless us all, insyaAllah.

Of smartphones. And tablets. And practically all gadgets.

2011-12-18T19:15:00.002+08:00

These few days I have been reading reviews, watching videos and reading forum threads regarding the newly-released smartphones, particularly the iPhone 4S, BB Bold 9900 and Samsung Galaxy SII (albeit it's not THAT new, but it's still cool anyway). Oh not to forget, the tablets like Samsung Galaxy Tab and iPad. And also the new Samsung Galaxy Note, which is a tablet AND a phone.

I'm not very familiar with these high-tech stuffs. I mean, I do know what they are and all the basic things there are to know about them. And after some consideration and in-depth analysis (ceh) with my limited knowledge, I decided that the one that I love best is Samsung Galaxy SII. Like seriously. I'm drooling saliva all over its picture only (not literally though, figuratively).

If I'm given the choice (which is like, impossible) I WANT THEM ALL. YES ALL OF THEM. Because all of them has their own features which can make me drool (again, figuratively) and sleepless at nights. Well yeah, BB has BBM which is an all-time favourite. The new BB has a QWERTY keyboard AND a touch screen. Which makes it irresistable.

One thing I like best about iPhone 4S is Siri! I have been watching videos of Siri in action and I fell deeply in love with it. Siri can be your virtual bestfriend and loners (like me, Solty-Rei and future PM XD) will at least have someone to talk to at lonely times. But this is only applicable to loners flooded with money lah. Loners like you and me will have to remain silent due to the fact that we can't afford this Siri T____T

Okay lah I can't talk about this anymore. It fills my heart with disappointment because I should constantly remind myself the fact that - I will never have them all. Having one is a miracle. But having them all is IMPOSSIBLE.

The thing is, these stuffs are ridiculously expensive that we should think carefully before buying one. Sadly, people are buying smartphones because they are blindly following the trend. I mean, the idea of owning smartphones AND tablets is very appealing. Yes I know, some people can afford these things so they buy it - just simply because they can. Some people can hardly find money to buy these things - but they buy it anyway. Owning these smartphones is not something wrong, it can help you a lot, but before buying it, be clear of your intention first. Why do you need to buy it? Can you really afford it? Would you regret it later?

If you are not clear of why you buy what you have just bought, you will be morbidly depressed. Or at least I know I would. Because seconds after you got yourself a new iPhone 4S, then suddenly some other company releases something new, which suddenly makes your iPhone 4S not the latest, coolest smartphone. These companies are the trendsetter, but that doesn't mean that you HAVE to follow them.

And if everyone owns a smartphone, that doesn't mean you should, too. If you are comfortable with your old Nokia or Sony Ericsson, then I don't see why you should change to any other smartphone. Owning a smartphone is inconsequential and unnecessary if you don't even know what to do with it. The necessity depends on people, though.

I know I cannot afford the iPhone 4S. Nor that I need it. So maybe I should stop pushing my parents to buy it for me. Haha.

Post-SPM ramblings :)

2011-12-13T23:54:00.000+08:00

So I'm done with SPM.

So I'm leaving school.

These two important facts deserve a huge celebration :)

So my last day at school was as typical as other school days but still there was this kind of mysterious feeling lingering in the atmosphere. Yes I have mixed feelings about leaving school, to talk about it all would take forever, but lets just say the most dominant feeling was, err, I was happy lah. And excited :D

I think the subject I will miss the most is Add. Maths X)

So like everyone else, I already have my own plan of how to spend this free time (wisely, indeed. LOL). Some of my friends planned to work, or set up their own business (so you can go and buy tudungs from them XD), or join programmes (yes we have truckloads of programmes, i.e. PRINT, MHI [haha!], R2S2, KemNas and Wisata [what the -.-] and many more so Ikhwah Akhawat semua boleh pilih yaaa. LOL :D), or get married (eh ade ke? LOL XD) but we all have agreed on one thing, WE WANT A DRIVING LICENSE HOYEAHHH! ~~Need something to take us away from home. Eh?~~

I would not be doing any of the above (except for the driving license lah! Or kalau ada orang nak ajak kawin boleh jugak kot? Eh takleh takleh kena study dulu haha. Eh bajet macam ada je, PERASAN PFFFFTTTT) because..I'm not interested much. Sorry. So I will stay quiet at home and..do things I have planned to. Haha.

So all in all, Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah, for helping us throughout the exams, for giving us a chance to relax and get back on track after such mess in our lives and for giving us Your blessings :)

I'm freeeee! Although not really, but I still consider myself free XD

2011-12-01T01:18:00.001+08:00

I remembered earlier last year, when I decided to go for Biology instead of Accounts, I was seriously doubting my decision. And now I am already done with Biology for SPM, Alhamdulillah :) Although I still have my doubts within me, too late to do anything about it now LOL

It is such a relief that I had already went through 9 subject, and there's just two more left. Although SPM is not exactly over but everyone had already felt free, or as Murshida phrased it, 'Merdeka Kecil' haha. Seriously my head throbbed like crazy since last week because of the pressure it was handling right when Addmath started =.= But the thought of not seeing any Biology or Physics or Chemistry or Addmath EVER AGAIN really helps a lot to relief the pain my head is currently experiencing hakhak.

So by the way I will only iron my school uniform for two more times :D

Btw please pray so we will not lose focus for these remaining 2 papers, BAT and PQS. It's getting harder to sustain my interest in studying for a long time now.

~~I am so going to get a driving license soon WOOOHOOOO XDDDD~~

In the midst of SPM XDDDD

2011-11-17T16:55:00.001+08:00

Oh hi. Haha. I never thought that this day will come, but now I am in the midst of my SPM hakhak. I'm already done with 4 subjects and I think the feeling of answering SPM is a bit different because you know that you would not answer this paper again forever so you just have to give it all this time.

So because of that feeling, I wrote the longest Malay essay I have ever written in my whole life, like seriously long hahah. I wrote one of my weirdest English essay >.< and I HATE SEJARAH SO MUCH! I felt cheated >.< I mean, they name the subject as History and they told you to remember what happened long ago in the past but in the end they only asked you a little about it like WTH?!?!?!?! The question they ask instead was whether the city you live in is well-planned or not. I mean, they should have told me earlier then I don't have to go like crazy trying to remember the whole Wawasan 2020!!!!!!!!

Hahah so anyways, maybe it is better that way. Mathematics was okay lahh I guess. So all in all, everything is still fine up to this date.

But they are saving the worst for the last right >.<

So next week I am having PSI, Addmath and Physics. With no gap between Addmaths and Physics I will just have to study right now so goodbye everyone!

p.s. I caught flu and fever right before Sejarah and my place in the hall is directly below the fan and in front of the air-cond. Haha it really helps LOL. I am still a little dizzy but I am getting better now Alhamdulillah :)

2011-11-12T22:24:00.001+08:00

And so, SPM is here, finally.

Dearest everyone, please make your dua's for my friends and I.

May Allah bless all those hours of studying, and we hope that Allah will reward us with what we deserve insyaAllah. Lets put our trust in Allah and never worry ourselves, because worry wastes our soul :D And btw Sami Yusuf said, 'worry ends when faith begins' :D So let's have faith yeahh XD

After all, Ustzh Kamaliah said, 'nothing is impossible for the believing heart'. So lets believe in ourselves, give our best shot and surprise the world with our results later in March insyaAllah :)

Pre-SPM ramblings

2011-11-04T22:21:00.000+08:00

Salam.

Sorry if I am ranting or babbling but I just need to say all these.

I don't know why but I am ridiculously exhausted. I know I shouldn't be, I know I should keep going on but the thing is, I am too tired to move.

I have so many little problems right now and I don't even know where did they come from in the first place. So many things are pushing me down and I don't know what else should I do. I know I should prioritize my studies and ignore these petty little things but they stay in my head too often.

Apart from those little problems which are ~~supposed to be~~ insignificant in my life,

I am too scared to go through SPM. Honestly I am.

There's so much to do with so little time and I don't even know where to start. Everyone seems to be improving so much but I think I am still at the same level. I want to be fully prepared for SPM but because of all the times I've wasted earlier this year, I don't know how 'prepared' I can possibly be.

Ustazah Norizah said to me that SPM is equivalent to giving birth. Haha I can't really see the resemblance, but she said that it is something you cannot avoid. Whether you want it or not, you are ready for it or not, what you should do is brace yourself and go for it. After all, it's the best that you can do. That's what she said lah.

But to me, I feel ashamed because I do not think that I have given all my best yet. I know I should have put in more efforts because I know I can do better. Everytime I recite the do'a after solat, asking Allah to help me in my SPM, I honestly don't know what to say. I feel too embarrassed to ask for anything. Because I know that Allah would only grant you something if you work hard for it, but looking at myself, hmmmmmm.

So anyways, the damage is done. The only thing left to do is to make full use of these few days left, and just pray so that Allah helps us. Because without His help, I don't know how would I survive.

Well as Dalila said, this is lame, but I honestly and sincerely would like to apologize to everyone, for all the things I have done since I first came into your life. Haha. Sorry if I ever did anything offensive, sorry for my bad behaviour, sorry if I was too emotional or irrational at times, sorry if I told lies to you, sorry if I spoke ill of you behind your back, sorry if I was too loud in class (I know, I am very sorry), sorry if I was too much outspoken, sorry sorry sorry. And I've forgiven every mistakes people ever did to me too.

I really hope that everyone would please please please pray for me and all SPM candidates. We really hope for your prayers. I would like to take only a minute out of your whole life, and please pray for us.

ONE MINUTE OF SILENCE.

There, thank you. May Allah bless you for your sincere prayers :)

Fuhhhhhh SPM; I'm coming! :)

Those depressing numbers -.-

2011-10-14T21:51:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

So today there was a Jalinan Mesra session; where parents and teachers meet up to discuss results, haha. Parents and teachers talk and at the same time glare at the student, haha they actually form a union against schoolkids. Talking about results can be depressing, whether we feel that we should have put in more effort, or believed that we have put in efforts but the result is still bad, or we just choose to not care and stop doing anything at all.

So I got my results. Alhamdulillah with Allah's blessings, with my own efforts, ~~and with soalan bocor :P~~, I managed to get straight A's. But not straight A+ lah, need to work harder >.<

I personally respect those who tried their utmost best, struggled like mad and worked harder than anyone else; even though they might still not get good results, I don't care, I think their efforts are still an achievement that people tend to forget to look at. These people are special, because not many people are willing to work hard for something they want. Allah is always fair to us all.

So anyways, it's exactly 30 days before SPM T.T

~~Got a scholarship offer that I have to decline, sorry lahhh aku kan scholar Mara sejati LOL XD~~

I would do anything to buy more time, seriously T.T

2011-10-04T21:13:00.000+08:00

I got my Addmaths Paper 1 result and can see no hope of getting an A+. Helleh and it's not just addmaths, I cannot understand how it will ever be possible for me to get an A+ in Chemistry Physics Biology and whats not --' So much of getting 11A+ huhhhhh >.<

My parents wanted me to get 11A+ for this trial exam. Of course everyone wants to get straight A+ but people should start understanding how hard ~~and unrealistic~~ it is. I told my father about my not getting A+ for Physics and I thought he would at least membebel. But he didn't though. He just shrugged and said, "Yelahh sesuai lah result tu dengan usaha awak." OMG pedih sehhhh --' He should just have lectured me for an hour, it would be much better than this feeling of guilt. I think my efforts are still inadequate, I have to put in some more.

I only have a month to prepare for my SPM and start filling all those empty spaces in brain with some more knowledge. OH YEAYYYYY 11 SUBJECTS IN ONE MONTH. ONE MONTH. WHAT CAN I REALLY DO IN A FREAKING 1 MONTH/ 4 WEEKS/ 30 DAYS?!?!?!?!?!?!?! THIS IS RIDICULOUS AND I AM NOT BELIEVING ANY OF IT ARGHHHHHHHHHH

Hahahaha I am spending some time here with no real purpose and I know this post is total crap but who caressssss. I can't really think straight (or someone else pointed out, I was not even thinking at all maybe) LOL.

I went to a seminar last weekend and got to see a whole new learning environment. Things that most people in my class will never ever have the nerve to say, are being said openly in that seminar, be it by the students or teachers. I have never agreed with thinking on sexual basis, and I don't care if it's for Physics or Chemistry or Biology, knowledge is something that should be respected. It comes from Allah and trying to obtain it in the wrong way - I should think there will be no barakah to that knowledge.

Eh hahaha ter-emo pulakkkk LOL

~~If I have to make a choice between a hotstuffff and a loner, I would undoubtedly go for the LONER LOLLLLLLL~~

Of what to wear and dressing up.

2011-09-24T01:15:00.000+08:00

I have a very huge obsession with clothes. Like, seriously deadly ridiculously obsessed. I would go crazy over any piece of clothing, be it a cardigan, or a pair of jeans, or a shawl, or a pair of shoes or even accessories (i.e. BAGS!!!!, purses, brooches and whats not --')

I totally understand the necessity to have a lot of jeans even if you seldom wear them. Or the need to have a lot of shawls which you can't even find an outfit to match it with. Or the need to have thousands of shoes for lots of different occasions (HEHHHH BAJET RETISSSS LAHHH SANGATTTTTT). Basically we all just want to have a wardrobe just like Mia's in the Princess Diaries.

Urghhhhhh I am currently drooling over this -.-

Currently in Malaysia we can see the trends emerging so fast. Especially with the shawls and pashminas :D Which is completely fine by me. Heheh. If you go on YouTube you would undoubtedly find thousand of tutorials on different ways to wear your shawl, you can even wear a different style everyday. You can basically find shawls everywhere with relatively low prices, even kalau malas nak keluar pun there are a lot of blogshops selling nice things. I love how things have been much easier right now.

But because the current trends are rapidly changing, some people just get lost and do not know where they are standing. They follow the latest craze blindly, trying so hard to blend in the society. Which is not what Malaysia wants (Wawasan 2020: Melahirkan masyarakat demokratik yang matang OH YEAHHH!). And also because people with no principles are like, trees without roots. Haha.

I completely understand that everyone wants to look beautiful. Or nice. Or at least not so out of place. That's why people try so hard nak belit shawl style macam macam even though it's so hard and uncomfortable, they just want to look good that's why. I totally understand this. I also feel the exact same thing, I want to blend in. I don't like those impressions on practising Muslims *cheh*, 'Kalau pakai tudung labuh2 selalu selekeh, tak pandai bergaya, has limited variety in their clothing and stuffs'.

But in the end, I found two basic rules to follow when you want to blend in the society and look good;

1. First and foremost, please Allah.

Make sure that Allah is happy with what you wear. Cover what should be covered, tak jarang, tak pendek, tak ketat sendat, moderate dressing and stuffs. *OKAY TERASA GILA ON MOST THINGS* Basically follow what the Quran says.

2. Go and please yourself :D

Wear what you want to wear and have fun :) Wear red stilettos ~~and dance in them~~, nak pakai blouse ke jeans ke shawls ke cardigans ke, everything is totally fine and I have no objections, as long as the first rule is obeyed, you should have no problem.

P.S. This is more of a reminder to self :) And to those who needs something to hold on to in this modern society.

Of interviews and tied tongues and whats not

2011-09-18T17:14:00.000+08:00

So I attended an interview yesterday, luckily I was with someone (Dalila) to share the fears and nervousness with ARGHGHGHGHGH

We got interviewed separately but at the same exact time. My interviewer was an Indian by the name of Mr. Murali, and he was nice :) But unfortunately I said the worst thing that could ever come out from my mouth and when I was out of that room, I can actually think of better answers!!!!!!!! IT WAS VERY DEPRESSING SERIOUSLY.

He asked me how do I think my SPM results will be and how many A+ will I get. How should I know?!?!?!?!?!?! And he asked me what I would like to be. I said lawyer, because everyone is governed by law and I want to be a part of it - OMG that was so lame what was I thinking ?!?!?!?!?! By the way I managed to come out alive. Thank God.

On the bright side, it was a new experience. And it was far more stressful than a debate. If you say the most ridiculous thing no one would back you up. At least in debates my team-mates would. Haha. I hope my next interview would be much much much better.

Ohh I asked Mr. Murali about his opinion on students from religious schools, are they different from other students? He said, "I think the only difference is in terms of adaptability" LOL haha so true :D And he continued, "When you go out, I am no asking you to let go of your faith. Work with the environment, but at the same time you can keep your faith." It was actually nice to hear this from someone else apart from people at school :)

After that Dalila and I went to CS to treat ourselves haha after truckloads of embarrassment and humiliation --'

2011-09-11T15:27:00.001+08:00

I am struggling like a desperado.

Am working hard like never before.

Am trying my best :)

It's getting tougher What with add maths, chemistry and biology all in the same week -.- May Allah ease our burden insyaAllah :)

THIS IS MY SPM TRIAL THAT WILL DETERMINE MY SPM RESULTS MACAM KALAU MY HISTORY PAPER IS GOING TO BE BROUGHT TO SABAH AND SUDDENLY IT GETS WET IN THE JOURNEY, NANTI DYE NAK AMBIK RESULT TRIAL SEJARAH AKU WUWUWUWUWUWUWU. I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO SCORE FOR BIOLOGYYYYYYYY, FUHHHHHHH -.-

Wake-up call for myself.

2011-09-04T14:06:00.000+08:00

I am planning to start studying in.. five more minutes. Haha.

When I listened to countless success stories from random people, I feel quite ashamed (and mungkin lahh motivated jugakkkk). Especially if they come from a poor background, God knows where they live which is in some isolated place with no facilities, some have no electricity, no clean water supplies, no food to eat, no clothes to wear, yet at last, they worked hard to change their lives and they succeeded :)

I find these stories very inspiring.

I have all the resources I will ever need. I have good teachers, supportive family, nice friends, a good environment to study in and such. For the sake of getting straight A's my dad would not be reluctant to spend a lot on my reference books, exercise books, files, notebooks, pens (oh yes fifth-formers need a lot of pens, panjang sangat essayyyyy -.-) and et cetera. And if all those are still not adequate, we can all access countless websites of various subjects and whats not. If we subscribe Astro, there is a channel named Astro Tutor TV SPM hahaha a very good one.

With all these resources, it seems impossible not to get good results.

In the end, it all comes down to our own selves. How hard we work, how much we study, how we use the resources, and how much doa's we make :)

p.s. Seriously jangan jadi orang kufur nikmat, Allah gives us all these so use them wisely, work hard and may all of us be rewarded for our hard work insyaAllah.

My Eid for 2011

2011-09-02T23:05:00.000+08:00

One thing I learnt from Eid this year is; Do not ever plan to study during Eid, you will only disappoint yourself seriously. I'm talking based on personal experience haha. I am supposed to finish PSI by today, but sadly I have barely started PSI :( Haaaaihhh

My Eid was a fantastic one this year; met with far-away relations after surviving a journey of 8 hours, found a few long-lost ones, knew the names of some people that I only recognize faces before, and most importantly got Duit Rayaaaa ♥

Went to some houses, took a lot of pictures (SERIOUSLY A LOT!!!!). Tak faham langsung why you would take 100++ pictures in only a day haha, but you just did anyways because it was fun. LOL. Anyways I did not camwhore a lot this year, because I was forced to become the photographer for nearly every pictures because they thought I could take decent pictures haha. I bet they are regretting right now when they look at those pictures LOL XD

Everywhere I went people asked me, Dah form berapa? And when I answered Form 5, they told me to study and everyone angguk angguk macam setuju lahh sangat and after that ajak pergi sambung raya?! This is seriously a contradiction of policy!! Oh I tried so hard to be in the spirits of both Raya AND Trials but they just can't merge :D

Terengganu (Mom's side )

Pontian (Dad's side)

To everyone, yes, I mean EVERYONE, I sincerely apologize if I ever wronged anyone of you whether it was intentional or not, I am deadly sorry. Sorry if I ever broke your heart (LOL), made you sad or mad, ignored you, disappointed you, talked badly behind your back, did anything you think was inappropriate, dismissed your ideas, disagreed with your decision and talked about it behind you, told lies to you, and many more, I am truly, sincerely, SORRY :)

I don't know why people apologize during Eid, but it's not something bad to be practised so let's just go with the flow ahaha. And if anyone still hold something against me, you can tell me, I'll apologize personally to you. Because sometimes I did things that you took heart to but I just didn't realize :D

Happy Trials Fifth Formers! XDDDDD
And everyone else please do, do, do, do PRAY FOR US. It would only cost you a few minutes, but I pray so that Allah answers your prayers and blesses you for all your Doa's insyaAllah :)

Should have realised this earlier, but it's okay :)

2011-08-26T01:13:00.002+08:00

I was asked a very important question that got me thinking deep;

WHY AM I A MUSLIM?

When I first heard this, I seriously didn't know the answer. I feel ashamed because after 17 years of living, I can't even answer a simple question, why I believe in Islam for all these years. This is a very urgent question that I need to answer while I am still alive. I don't know what will happen to me if I am still clueless when I am asked this question in my grave T.T

So, for the time being I found an answer. I hope the answer will get better and deeper eventually, but for now, this is my answer.

I am a Muslim because to me, Islam is very beautiful. Every principle in Islam makes perfect sense and none are ridiculous or unexplainable. Every rules and laws are there to uphold human's rights, for the betterment of the society, for the benefit of mankind themselves. No principle in Islam is there just to burden or to torture anyone.

I am also a Muslim because in Islam, I found things that I searched (or am still searching) for. When I have problems, Islam has the solutions, already outlined there for me since 1400 years ago. When I have doubts, Islam has the answers. And whenever I need something, Islam has it all. Seriously, I don't need anything else in life when I have a faith this beautiful :)

I am proud to be a Muslim because Islam is different from all the other religions that ever exists. When women cover themselves with hijab, everybody knows that they are Muslims because no other women covers their aurat like what Muslim women do. In Islam, you are taught to read a doa or Bismillah before you do anything, because in everything you do, you do it for nobody but God solely. When you finished doing something or achieved anything, you are taught to say Alhamdulillah, because you should always remember that only with Allah's will you are able to do what you have done.

Everything in Islam, big or small, they always have a good reason to why they exist.

I am proud to be a Muslim, and I hope I can be a better Muslim, insyaAllah. Let's all pray so that when we are already in our graves, when we are asked this question, we can answer it well :)

p.s. Iftar/Qiam Batch 13 memang superbbbbb! Should do it often XD

Justifying wrong ideas should never be done.

2011-08-13T18:49:00.002+08:00

Because I care, I have to say this. And beforehand, I am sorry.

I think that the idea of boys and girls going out together, or calling each other, or having Iftar together - for merely a RUBBISH reason i.e. kitorang kawan je - can never be justified, no matter how you try to explain it so it seems right, it is obviously NOT.

I also do not agree with the idea of lying to your parents (or in another case, hide what you are doing from them) just to please your so-called friends. You tell your parents you are going out with your friends, but why don't you specify that your term of 'FRIENDS' include someone of the opposite gender as well? Haha you know what you are doing is wrong, you hide it from your parents, wuuuuu DOUBLE LAH DOSAAAA.

And I do not understand why some girls can actually be so CHEAP- when some guy says Let's Have Iftar Together at Jusco, they just go; when some other guy says Let's Have Dinner Together and I'll Pick You Up At Your House, they just agree. I'm not saying that I am better or everyone else is better, but what these girls are doing are obviously, wrong. I don't know how to express this anymore haaaih.

You think you can do what you want because nobody ever stops you or condemns you, but it does not mean that they agree and can accept what you are doing. And you think you can hide things when the whole world already knows, but they just do not like to hurt your feelings.

Another issue that I can never agree with is the idea of seniority. Just because you are 17, you are in Form 5, you are a senior - you think you can do what you want.

For example bringing a mobile phone to the hostels. But to me, maybe I can accept that you are breaking a rule, because I do too. But when you use your mobile phone in front of everyone and call someone out loud, with no intention whatsoever to hide the fact that you are going against the rules - I think this is something unacceptable. Just because you are a senior and nobody dares to stop you, you think you can do anything as you like it.

Being a senior is just merely an advantage in your age, I do not think anyone could be so immature and consider their age as something to justify their action of skipping Prep Class and go listen to the radio when everyone else studies.

Seriously, you would not dare to do what you are doing if you are still thirteen. But when you are 17, suddenly everything is right, you suddenly do not apply to any of the rules anymore. Hahaha I don't know where anyone could possibly get these kind of rubbish ideas.

Please be more mature lahh and use your ability to think. I am serious.

Thanks, and I am sorry. This is how everyone is actually feeling, but they never say so. I am just voicing out things that should have been pointed out earlier.

Come on lahh, you are going to sit for SPM, try to be more focused and do not do silly things. This is so childish. Grow up and have more sensible ideas in your head.

2011-08-10T21:23:00.000+08:00

I was sitting and doing nothing, when suddenly this song played on the radio,

Ubat hati ada 5 perkara;

Yang pertama, baca Quran dan maknanya.

Yang kedua, solat malam dirikanlah.

Yang ketiga, berkumpullah dengan orang soleh.

Yang keempat, perbanyakkan berpuasa.

Yang kelima, zikir malam berpanjangan.

Hehe I don't know why I'm writing about this. This is so random anyways. Oh all the best everyone for the remaining 20 days of Ramadhan!

Mungkin saya perlukan ubat hati? Hmmmmmmm.

Planned to come at 5.30 but arrived at 6.30 instead XD

2011-08-06T12:22:00.000+08:00

Iftar Iltizam 2011 ♥

Special thanks to everyone; Tuan Rumah and Family, Ustaz Shukri, Assistant Class Monitor a.k.a Nadrah yang berusaha keras, Najihah yang menjadi tulang belakang majlis ni (?!), orang orang yang bawak makanan sedap sedap, and basically every members of Iltizam 2011 :)

macam jamuan raya pun ada HAHA

Ramadhan Kareem!

2011-07-31T15:24:00.000+08:00

Since Ramadhan is nearly here, I sincerely would like to apologize to everyone if I wronged anyone of you, whether it was intentional or not, I am very very sorry. And I already have forgiven everyone who did anything wrong to me, I am glad to say that I no longer hold any grudges or whatsoever.

Abu Huraira related that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Whoever fasts during Ramadan with faith and seeking his reward from Allah will have his past sins forgiven. Whoever prays during the nights in Ramadan with faith and seeking his reward from Allah will have his past sins forgiven. And he who passes Lailat al-Qadr in prayer with faith and seeking his reward from Allah will have his past sins forgiven (Bukhari, Muslim).

Let's all spend this Ramadhan wisely, and may Allah bless us and reward us for every single of our good deeds insyaAllah. Wasting such an awesome opportunity would be such a big loss that we would regret, seriously. Make the most of this chance.

Abu Huraira related that Rasulullah said: Many people who fast get nothing from their fast except hunger and thirst, and many people who pray at night get nothing from it except wakefulness (Darimi)

InsyaAllah, all the best to everyone! May all of us come out of Ramadhan as better Muslims :)

p.s. Oh btw the SPM trials would be immediately after Raya, so semua orang sila lahh study banyak banyak yaaaa :) And oh, I am currently applying for some scholarships. Haha. Pray for me :DD

2011-07-28T18:53:00.001+08:00

Hehe. Setahu saya, kalau nak tegur orang, kena tegur baik-baik kan. Bukan dengan emosi atau cakap kasar-kasar. Dan tak salah kalau cakap terus, tak payah nak melalui orang lain :D

Tak kisahlah, takpe takpe, walaupun awak kutuk memang kasar tak boleh blahh kan, saya terima lah jugak sebagai teguran :)

Tapi sorry lahh, semua respect saya yang menggunung tinggi kat awak selama ni, dah hilang lenyap terbang sepenuhnya. Hihi :P

After two weeks, I guess this is an update XD

2011-07-26T20:49:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry I currently have limited time to blog.

So what happened since my last update was;

We had an Intisor 2009 gathering! HAHAHA. It was fun, we went to Econsave, bought Cool Blog, barbecued a lot of food, watched movies till late night and lots more XDDDD Dah lame sehh tak have fun macam tuuu, setiap hari asek study je kannnn

Ahahaha ni tak sampai suku pun, ade banyaaaak lagi ni haa XD

lovesssssss ♥ (Murshida was the photographer)

Next, we Iltizam girlsssss ♥ had a makan-makan session! Hahaha memang gemuk sehh sume orang. There were serawa durian, kueytiaw goreng, mee goreng, pasta goreng, sandwiches, Oreos, and whats not. Sedaaaaaaap :) Thanks girlfriends haha.

On 22nd to 24th of July, we Form 5's had a Studython in UTM. Oh it was funnnnnnn! We stayed at Kolej Tun Razak and the dorm was unexpectedly nice, I'm dead serious it was nice! Kalau nak suruh stay lame lagi pun takpe haha XD My room-mate was Muna btw.

Tapi seram sikit lahh, because everybody stayed on the first floor except for a few people yang tak cukup bilik so we had to stay on the 2nd floor. Ada berapa orang je kot kat situ and there were so many empty rooms! Macam seram jugak..haha. It looked like a scene from a scary movie haha LOL.

The food was superbbb, the schedule was tight haha, the hall was hot, the tests were hard, the motivational talk was undoubtedly fantastic and overall everything was fine I guess. And one memorable thing we did was, duduk kat bumbung takutkan orang..haha. I'm not going to go into details but it was fuuuunnnn! XD

Ahahahaha.

:DDDDDD

Alhamdulillah currently everything is fine. The pressure for SPM is building up, a lot of my friends are quite stressed out haha, but insyaAllah we will cope alright. Pray for us all :)

Oh btw one of the most significant thing that I got from Pakcik Adnan's talk was; when you dream, dream BIG.

Oh I'm trying to cure my inferiority complex

2011-07-09T00:37:00.000+08:00

I always have this kind of inferiority complex. Haha. In most situations, I usually feel inferior, feel like an outsider, and I always feel that everyone is always better than me.

I have been feeling this since I was young *haha sekarang dah tua* up till now. I don't know why, but it just seems that way. I am afraid to mix with people because I am paranoid of what they would think of me. What if they hate me?!!! Hahahahaha. I prefer to stick with normal situations, with people I am familiar with, and I don't really want to try something new. Seriously, adapting to new situations is damn hard.

I mean, I don't really have the confidence, I just can't blend in like some people do. I don't know why people would like to befriend me, I think everyone else have some kind of value that makes them special. I tried searching, what is my own value actually?! But sadly I can't really see anything extraordinary :(

Sometimes I question, why do they have this and this and everything but not me. i.e. This person is smart, that person is confident with himself, he has more friends, she is good in sports, he can sing, she can dance haha and et cetera. I don't even know if I'm good in anything at all.

But someone told me,

Ada tiga perkara yang Allah dah tentukan dalam dunia ni sejak kita lahir. Rezeki, jodoh dan ajal. Jadi, kita tak payah nak risau pasal tiga2 benda ni, sebab Allah dah tentukan. Yang penting, kita usaha sebaik mungkin :)

There are three things that Allah has already written for us since we were first born. They are our sustenance (rezeki), our partners/soulmates XD, and our death. So we don't have to worry ourselves about these three things. Most importantly, we just do our best, and leave the rest to Allah :)

Oh yes, hidup memang patut belajar bersyukur. Don't worry too much about what others get, for that is what Allah has chosen to give to them, and not to us for certainly a reason. We have no rights whatsoever to question why them and why not us, because we humans are powerless and just should learn to accept everything. God knows best :)

Teruskan senyuuuuuum, even though semua orang dapat macam macam and rasa nak menangis pun sebab kita semuanyaaaa teruk tak macam orang lain, jangan risau. Kalau ada rezeki, Allah nak bagi kita pandai, atau kaya, atau tere sukan *haha*, atau apa apa pun, insyaAllah dapatlah :)

Be grateful. Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine :'(

Kawan kawan yang saya sayang ♥

2011-07-02T22:49:00.000+08:00

Saya tak tahu kenapa saya tulis post ni. Dan saya lagila tak tahu kenapa tiba2 guna Bahasa Melayu penuh..haha. Whatever. Tapi yang saya tahu, saya sayang kawan-kawan saya. Eheh tetibaaaaa :D

Saya ada ramai kawan. Tapi tak tahulaa berapa yang betul betul kawan hehhh. Kawan yang saya maksudkan dalam konteks entry hari ni adalah, kawan-kawan sebatch. Satu-satunya batch saya kat sekolah, Batch 13 :)

Ehh susahlaa nak tulis dalam BM. HAHA tak tau nak mulakan ayat camne.

Okay, saya taknak jadi orang yang hanya tahu bercakap belakang. Tapi saya juga tak mampu untuk bercakap depan-depan. Jadi hehh, saya cakap kat sini, kat tengah tengah mungkin? Haha. Semoga maksud saya sampai, semoga mesej saya dapat diterima.

Hehh macam mana nak mulakan ek ni. Cakap kat tengah pun susah rupanya, ~~cakap belakang memanglah paling senang HAHA.~~

Saya rasa sedih bila tengok ada kawan saya yang berani buat dosa. Okaylah fine semua manusia buat dosa, tapi semua manusia patut ada rasa bersalah buat dosa. Bukan dengan gembira menayang dosa. Sebab dosa kan perkara yang dilarang Allah.

Tapi okaylah, saya cuba fahami konteks orang yang buat dosa, mungkin tak cukup yakin lagilah kan. Sebab Allah kan kita tak nampak. Manusia memanglah susah sikit bila masuk bab-bab ghaib nih kan. Jadi sementara nak tunggu kita semua cukup iman, jom ah kita gunakan mak bapak dulu.

Cuba fikir, parents hantar elok elok kat sekolah agama, suruh belajar elok2, setiap bulan spend ratus ratus, tak masuk lagi yuran periksa laa mintak derma laa sumbangan laa jualan amal laa lagi, tapi hasilnya, kita tak macam yang mereka harapkan. Sedih kan?

Macam kita bagi kawan kita macam macam, tapi last last jadi tak berguna dan hampeh macam sampah lah jugak. Puihhh, rasa tak berbaloi langsung.

Kalau pun iman kita tak cukup kuat untuk sayangkan Tuhan, tolong lah sayangkan mak bapak yang kat depan mata tu. Tak rasa ke, bila kita khianati *cewahh bombastik sungguh, khianati HAHA* dan kecewakan mak bapak, kira macam derhaka lah jugak kan? Tak cium bau syurga beb, penat je hidup lama kat dunia ni, rugi beb, RUGI.

Jangan tipu mak bapak, jangan jadi jahat, jangan buat benda2 yang diorang tak suka, dan cuba jadi lebih baik dari apa yang diorang harapkan. Sebab korang semua hidup dengan duit mak bapak beb. Dah termakan budi tu buatlah cara senonoh sikit, ni nak kurang ajar pulak.

Mak bapak suruh belajar, pergi main kat sekolah. Dahlah PS1 tak dapat pun 11A+ *hehh terasa XD* lepas tu banyak pulak tu buat kerja kerja tak guna, sampai orang pun benci. Keluar dengan kawan lain jantina, atau berkomunikasi terang-terang kat Facebook atas tiket 'kawan' yang entah halal ke tak, haihh sedih aku. Tulahh dunia sekarang, yang haram pun boleh jadi halal haihhhh.

Saya cuma mampu bercakap jelahh, sebab saya tak mampu buat perkara lain selain tu. Hehe. Saya pun sedang berusaha juga.

Tak semua orang diberi rasa 'takut bila buat dosa'. Kalau pun rasa tu dah tak ada dalam diri kita, tolonglah berdoa supaya rasa tu ada semula. Sebab yang datangkan rasa tu, cuma Allah saja. Berapa banyak pun orang nasihat, kalau Allah tak buka hati, apa pun tak jadi.

Doalah, semoga Allah tunjukkan secara jelas pada kita semua, apa yang betul dan apa yang salah. Sebab apa-apa yang kita sangka betul, belum tentu betul. And vice versa :D

p.s. Lagipun kan kawan2 Batch 13 sekalian, kita kan nak SPM. Saya bukanlah nak cakap yang kita patut berubah sebab SPM, tapi kalau SPM mampu motivasikan kita untuk berubah, apa salahnya kan? XD

Plan KL konon LOLLLL

2011-06-28T19:13:00.000+08:00

Last saturday I went to KL with Dalila. Hahaha. That was my first experience of going to KL without anyone in charge of us and..haha, I guess we like to look for problems. Takde kerja memanglahh nak cari kerja tetiba nak pergi KL.

We took a 12.00 am bus on Saturday and seram seh rasa naik bas malam malam pastu we are only 2 under-age girls. Arrived at TBS at 4.30 am, and TBS was freaking AWESOME!! We felt safe despite the fact it was 4 in the morning and we knew no one there, because the place looked like airport and have guards and everything. Larkin should really be more like TBS.

So anyways, after subuh, we took a KTM to KL Sentral, again a KTM to Sg Buloh supposedly but end up in a weird place called Batu Kentonmen (God knows where it is --'), took a taxi to KDU from Sg Buloh and yessss, we watched our juniors in KID BP! Ohh we felt really proud sebab selamat sampai KDU oh yeahhh :)

Watched 3 rounds, met some long-lost friends and new ones (like Amnah haha, Adibah, Kak Iqa, Haziq lol and others), and in the evening went back to Tune Hotels. Haha we stayed in their room illegally. Luckily guard tu tak perasan, if he did I guess we will have to sleep on the streets -.- Oh before that we had Subway for dinner.

The next day we watched a round in the morning. Then we decided to take a bus to the nearest LRT station and from there, make our way to Sogo. Haha gedik en dahlaa memandai je nak pegi jalan. Arrived in Sogo, ate at Kyros Kebab, bought a Famous Amos cookie, also bought one shirt each. AHHHH I terribly regret that we didn't spend more, Sogo was on sale and that jeans was reduced to only RM30 ARGHHHHHHHHH!!

So after that we took another LRT and went to Petaling Street haha. Ingatkan nak cari beg baru but I don't know why the current trend is not my taste. So we didn't find a bag we truly liked, so we bought a t-shirt each. Haha. Yelahh penat dah datang so we have to spend at least something kannnn.

Arrived back in KDU at 5.30 pm, attended the social night which was a totally stupid thing to do (seriously lahh, the public speaking part was way over the line) and heard the break announcement. Haha all our juniors didn't break anyways.

We went back to JB at 7.30 pm but arrived home at 3.00 am. I still wonder why. Haha.

Oh anyways they are going to Musleh tomorrow night. All the best everyone, BM, English and Arabic. I'll pray for you guys though I'm not going.

Arghhh I really want to go to Musleh!!! I'm trying not to regret my own decision, it's my own decision anyways.. Yelahh nak study for SPM because I'm not fully prepared and should not join debate.. But I really miss debate :(((((( OKAYLAHH WHATEVERRRRR

Oh anyways about my exam results, I am still faaaaar from my target for SPM (hehh nak dapat 11A+ konon, tak dapat dapat pun hampeh betul haaaish) and sedih sikit lahh with my batch's results. Oh tapi I'm really proud that Chemistry results are waaaaayyy better than UB1! Keep it up everyone :))

because daddies are AWESOME

2011-06-19T17:19:00.000+08:00

I have a daddy and I call him Ayah. He's a great father, the best I can ever ask for. I can never imagine myself without my daddy because seriously, he is the one who creates my character so that I am who I am today. I rarely talk about him, but I think very highly of him, and I can cry every time I think of what he have done for us :)

For example, my daddy is obsessed with time. Like, seriously obsessed. If he says five minutes no one can exceed the time limit given. For example kalau nak keluar jalan. Anak perempuan biaselah heee memang paling lambat, cari brooch lah tepek bedak lahh lelebih sehh. And my daddy akan membebel sepanjang jalan about the importance of time. And he always say this; If there's a fire and you're late by a second to save yourself, you will DIE. Haha he repeated this since I was little and by now all of us dah pandai siap awal. If he didn't do this entah2 sampai sekarang kitorang tak pandai jaga masa.

And that's why he hates program sekolah macam Ihtifal haha, sebab dalam tentatif start 8am tapi tengok tengok 9am pun belum tentu start. I'm sorry lahh sekolah, but you guys should really improve with time management :D

He supports all the things I do if it's good and he always give good views and opinions. Every single time I would surely ask his opinion on all things. Macam dulu time nak join debate, he supported me a lot. He told me how to be more confident, how to speak better, what issues I should know and other stuffs. I want to take up law after SPM and he supported me a lot, and he said; Dulu ayah pun nak jadi lawyer, tapi tak dapat. So kakak jadi pun kira okay lah kan :D

My daddy don't like to talk about petty little things, but he always talk about the world and the things happening inside it. I can ask him anything, from Malaysia politics, USA, competitive devaluation, history of football and whats not. And setiap hari my dad will talk about scholarships, macam mana nak dapat, how to succeed in interviews, susah ke tak cari kerja and what should we try to achieve in our next 10 years and stuffs like that. He taught all of us siblings to have a strong vision.

Another thing is, he never spend any time for himself. It will always be for us. He doesn't play golf, or go fishing or anything. Weekdays mestilah pergi kerja pagi balik dekat Maghrib. Every Saturday mesti dia pergi pasar tapi lepas tu he is never free. Bawak budak lelaki gunting rambut lahh, pergi siram pokok kat taman lahh, beli carpet baru, basuh kereta, shopping baju with his girls :), belikan Cool Blog kat Econsave, he does everything he can and never relax. Bila fikir balik, I feel deeply touched, like all his life is just for us.

Thank you Ayah, I love you very much. I am myself, because of what my daddy does to me, to all of us siblings. I am very proud to be his daughter :D

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! ♥ ♥

yeahhhh this is my daddy :)

2011 mid-year holidays ;D

2011-06-08T17:46:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

Ahahaha hye! Hari Isnin baru balik dari Mukhayyam, Tuesday I went shopping, stayed at home on Wednesday, went out for Nur Kasih on Thursday and Jumaat pergi Kem Tahfiz haha.

Cuti memang camnihh, banyak sangat activities, tapi takpe asal tak sekolah kannn ;P

So anyways, this is my last kem tahfiz :( ~~kecuali lahh kalau ustazah nak buat lagi kan, tapi takyah pun takpelahhhh -.-~~ I seriously will miss all my memories of each Kem Tahfiz, they were always a lot of fun :)

Kem Tahfiz kali ni sempat pergi for two and a half days je haha. Berguna lahh jugak kan, ingat balik yang dah lupa lupa tu walaupun masih tak semua. And THERE WAS A VERY SIGNIFICANT THING WE DID, TERIMA KASIH RAIHAN DAN ATIQAH ATAS JENAYAH TERANCANG KITORANG YANG ALHAMDULILLAH BERJAYA, TAHNIAH SEMUAAAAA ;DDDD

Dah ah. Merepek.

Sunday night, I went to SMI Hira' Jeram for Karnival Koku Musleh. Haaaa yelahh masuk ape lagi kan hafazan lahhhh, kat Kem Tahfiz kat Karnival semua lahh kan baca Quran alhamdulillah ♥ I don't know why I went for hafazan, ~~maybe because ustazah suruh kot,~~ but maybe because it is one of the things I think I can excel in *HAHAHA YELAHHH TU*, so why not just do it, right? Oh I got 3rd place btw.

So anyways, there was a lot of competitions, mainly two types. First; Acara Sukan (Futsal, Netball, Takraw, Ping Pong, Catur) and second; Amal Islami (Tilawah, Hafazan, Azan, Hadis, Khutbah?, Pidato, Gubahan, Bercerita, Khat, Nasyid and stuffs). SMIH sent representatives for all categories except TIlawah, taktaulahh kenapa. ~~Padahal kalau masuk entah entah boleh menang haha~~. To sum up how we did, we were Overall Champions again. Alhamdulillah :)

Haha macam kelakar kannn we got champions for both years, and both times it was unexpected. Seriously, this year macam selekeh je tak banyak menang pun, tapi taktaulah kenapa? Entah mungkin rezeki lahh kot kan, Alhamdulillah.

From this Karnival Koku, I got to see different sides of other schools. Macam sekolah ni muka baik, sekolah ni ganas sikit, sekolah ni errr haaa entah laa kan macam macam. And compare them with our own school, and try to improve on certain things. Contoh; Jaga cakap, tak ketawa kuat kuat. Yelahh seriously malu beb tengok banat sekolah lain semua diam tunduk tawaduk je kan.

So anyways, congratulations to all! We did our best, may Allah bless us and reward our efforts insya-Allah ♥

~~p.s. btw dapat jumpa IA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL ♥ ♥ ♥~~

I LOVE MUKHAYYAM XD

2011-05-31T19:22:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum. Alhamdulillah I am now back from mukhayyam and already had enough sleep jadi dah boleh update blog sekaranggggg. Sebab dah 2 minggu jadi zombie jawab exam hahhhhh ~~dengan orang sebelah yang tidur semangat sangat sampai mengganggu upssss XD~~

Well anyways. This mukhayyam was different ~~and also it was wayyyyy better without any pressure from KRS haha.~~ It started at school, with a forum handled by alumni, some of them I never met before and it was good. One of the things I learnt; everytime we want to take action(s), make sure ada benefit from that action.

That night, there was a session with Pakcik Jamaluddin and I like this session a lot, SERIOUSLY. One thing; jangan ada persepsi bukan2 pada orang lain, dan jaga persepsi apa yang kita beri tentang kita pada orang lain.

Saturday morning; we all went to Larkin for the next module (?). We were late by one hour, taktaulahh kenapa. Tak faham. So anyways, my group (Kak Maryam, Azzah, Nabila, Aqilah, Nuha, Fatin, Sakinah, Fadhilah and I) was given RM148.50 to spend, and we were left with that money in Larkin. We were given a task to go and talk to 24 teenagers about Islam and whatever stuff.

I was paired with Falah and we were to find 6 teenagers. Serious azab lahhh nak cari dahlahh kena reject pun banyak, dye ingat aku nak makan dye ke lahh pun -____________- so anyways, dah jumpa dah pun. It was a great experience, I never went through anything like that before. But I don't know, our journey was biasa je, other groups had more interesting stories like kena hembus (?) dengan pakcik pasal Palestine or jumpa orang cakap pasal Saidina Umar.

After that dakwah task, we took a bus to Mersing. We were taken to the campsite but halfway we were left in the middle of the road to walk 1.5 km. Not that I'm complaining but still tak faham kenapa bila ada kereta kena jalan kaki -.- Tak salah kan naik kereta padahal everyone is heading towards the same place. But whatever. We got to see sheeps, goats and their wastes too haha. SUPER BESAR BEB, HEBAT AH MERSING LOL.

For the next two days we had sessions (and a lot of them) with Ustaz Hasanuddin.

Slot 1; know ourselves well. malu ahh diri sendiri pun tak kenal.

Slot 2; everyone got high hopes on us. do not disappoint them, seriously.

Slot 3; we will never know what is the outcome from everything we do, so keep on trying. Kalau dah try 100 kali tapi tak berjaya, try untuk kali ke-101. Tak salah kann :)

Slot 4: Remaja dan cinta LOL. Orang yang hebat, kena ada kebijaksanaan dan ilmu.

Slot 5; OH MY GOD SLOT KE-5 MEMANG SUPERBB. My favourite XD

In this last slot, we were told to fold a paper into three parts, and we had to DRAW our ambitions and hopes. note that, DRAW. aku dahlahh ada masalah dengan melukis haihh. We had to draw 1) anak soleh/solehah; 2) pendakwah yang berjaya; 3) SPM dan selepasnya. Then we went into groups of three; I was with Awatif and Aqilah. We had to tell them our hopes and dreams, they had to listen, and the person at our right kena berdoa untuk kita.

OH SERIOUS SYAHDU LAHH SLOT NI. Mungkin sebab baru tahu cita cita sendiri secara jelas. And kena cerita kat orang, tetibe je rasa cita cita ni adalah something yang serious untuk dicapai. And orang doakan kita, rasa terharu sebab..entah. And kena doakan orang lain, tak pernah doakan kawan sendiri secara jelas and specific macam tu. Seriously, terima kasih Awatif, Aqilah.

Before that we played games too.

Game 1; Keretapi belon.

-Never leave anyone behind. Berjaya bukan nak seorang diri.

Game 2; Kutip belon sambil tutup mata.

-Halangan sentiasa ada. Ignore them and just try our best. Another thing, jangan jadi halangan kepada orang lain, dosa berterusan.

Game 3; Masukkan air dalam botol sampai bola keluar (?)

-Semua orang bagi pengajaran yang bagus. But the one I like best came out from someone, he said; Kebaikan tu luas. Macam air laut. Tak salah kan berusaha untuk ambik sikit sikit.

Another thing, Ustaz Hasanuddin memang banyak ajar Batch13 yang pemalu ni untuk bercakap. Kalau ada ilham dari Allah, kena sampaikan. Itu dia kata.

Thanks, seriously, sincerely, a million thanks to Pakcik Makcik, Ustaz Ustazah, Alumni, Amir dan Amirah, Ketua Ketua Kumpulan, and every members of Batch13.

This mukhayyam changed my view towards certain things, and I found some of the things I was searching for. Doakan ya, so that what I found, will not be lost again. Haha.

I LOVE BATCH TIGA BELAS ♥

Pray for us, SPM 11A+, GPK 2.20 :)

oh how I miss this virtual world!

2011-05-22T07:55:00.000+08:00

seriously I do. I really really really miss blogging and the way I used to go online without worrying about un-read textbooks :)

well, from the reduced number of hours I spend on Facebook-ing and blogging now, we can all pretty much conclude that I am taking my exams this year seriously. yeahh yelahh tu HAHA. but I seriously regret all those time I wasted earlier this year AND ALSO LAST YEAR, if only I used those times wisely, haihhh tapi Dalila Kahar kata takleh cakap kalau because it shows you are not redha with things..

SO I AM GOING TO STOP REGRETTING AND WHINING AND COMPLAINING AND START MOVING!

LOL. yeahh I have a clear goal of what I want to reach, so it is an obligation to myself that I should give out my best for my goal.

okay cuti nanti maybe there will be more time to blog but I AM SERIOUSLY SAYING THIS, I already have a full schedule for my holidays, AND MOST OF IT INVOLVES STUDYING HAHAHA. I am serious, I want to excel in my SPM, and I hope everyone have the same feeling too.

I hope I don't get PLKN..haha tetiba. ~~and I am considering Darul Quran, hmmmmmm~~

what I'm hoping from what I'm doing.

2011-05-01T22:58:00.000+08:00

ASSALAMUALAIKUM, HELLO WORLD :)

Alhamdulillah I got a chance to update this blog today, seeing that i have been very busy studying for all this while (eh I'm serious HAHA).

recently for quite a few days, I thought a lot about myself. about my life, why am I here, what am I supposed to do and what do I really want to achieve. because I have just realized that these questions remained unclear for all this while and I think I need to re-think my whole existence. macam midlife crisis sehhhh

there are certain questions I didn't really understand. for example, why does everyone emphasize a lot on getting 11A+ in SPM? it's not likely that I will ever use addmath again in my whole life so why bother getting an A+? haha. okay whatever.

I think there is supposed to be more to life than just merely studying, graduating, getting a good job, and then get married and then you die. I don't want to be just another person living and dying and then everyone forgets my existence after a few years.

so now, I think I have found the answer.

what I think I want to achieve in life, is to be someone useful to the society, specifically the ummah. I want to be someone the ummah can someday be proud of. I want to change the world. HAHAHAHA. cehh terlalu besar cita cita. whateverrrrr.

but I'm serious. and to be realistic lah kan, I might not get to change the world, because I'm a female and males are the one who are supposed to be leaders, right? *bertanya sinis kepada semua lelaki* so if I don't get to change the world, I might at least, AT LEAST, change someone's life. at least one.

but I'm not really sure in what terms. maybe bringing a non-muslim to embrace Islam (insyaAllah), or to save someone from cancer (but I don't want to be a doctor..so I might just cross this one out --'), or to prove someone is innocent (being a lawyer, hmmmm), or to teach someone Arabic so he/she understands the Quran better (being an Arabic teacher, WOOOOO), or maybe just teaching my kids with the good values of Islam (haha ibu mithali hahaha).

~~or maybe I can be an addmath teacher so I get to use addmath in the future..haha WHATEVER.~~

I want to help people, and be a light in someone's life. to give them hope when they feel hopeless. haha. begitu murni impian kita yaaaa. and there's a lot of way in which I can do this.

so now I truly understand why I want 11A+ in SPM. Alhamdulillah. barulah rasa ada matlamat dan tujuan hidup nak belajar. YEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAA!

begitu bersemangat post nih setelah sekian lama tak update

okay bye exam lagi dua minggu --'

because we should really start now :)

2011-04-14T21:52:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

HELLLLOOOOOO EVERYONE!

first thing, terima kasihhhhh yang teramatlah sangat banyaknya kepada sesiapa yang patut (i.e guru2, MPP, etc) sebab tukar laluan banat. rasa terharu sampai nak menangis hahaha bila jejak depan musolla tadi :') terima kasih sebab memahami banat. alhamdulillah :)

currently i feel very happy seeing all Form 5 classes with all those, err notes at the side of the whiteboard. barulahh terasa macam nak SPM :') i think it is a very good idea to do that, sampai sekarang dah lekat haaaa kat kepala 'haber process catalyst is IRON'.

i seriously very much hope that everyone in my batch will;

1) cooperate with whatever the batch is doing

2) make our own efforts to study

3) help our friends in their weak spots

4) make doa and solat hajat everyday ;D

because SPM is not a laughing matter, seriously.

and if you think you still have a lot of time before getting into this serious mode, think again. next month setara bebbb, and then cuti, then it's already the 2nd semester, lepas tu nak SPM dahhhh.

hahaha tetiba rasa bermotivasi sehh nak SPM! WOOOHOOOOOOO ;DDD and sabtu nih motivasi jadi mungkin akan lagi bersemangat? ~~errrr entahlaaaaaa mungkin jugak.~~

P.S. yeahh okay bai nak study BAT, mansub marfu' semualaaaaa sampai hafal muntah muntah pun takpelahh, tahun nih jeeeeee! YEAHH GO YEAHHH!

[go Batch 13, GPK 2.2!] hehehe rasa semangat lahh wehhh XD

the mess --'

2011-04-08T18:03:00.000+08:00

esok ada pertandingan hafazan. yang entahlah peringkat apa. i don't know what i got myself into.. haha.

ahad nih ihtifal ~~with no camera~~. ahahaha gembira sehhh ~~walaupun kena jaga gerai and takut terjatuh tengah pentas~~ but i'm still excited :D

isnin nih cuti XD but actually NO.

~~next month pergi singapore dengan kawan kawan. LOL.~~

note sejarah tak siap. semua subjects belum study and we're having a setara in May. GRREEEAAAAAATTTT :(

whateverrr. i have no idea what's going on in my life. just wish the best for me. haha.

hahaha i miss this time :')

i'm sooo not giving any oral adjudication..again.

2011-04-04T23:00:00.001+08:00

Singapore was GREAAAAAAT! i was sooo jakun and still am with Singapore's MRT!!

okay, that's a different story altogether *puts on a serious face*. let's focus on the real issue, the debate tournament :)

so, hmm, the tournament only took 2 days, which is the shortest tournament we have ever been to. and it was inter-tertiary. but there were some secondary schools (or JCs) yang suka ~~menyebokk~~ new experience, and our school being one of them, entered the tournament.

i was an adjudicator..again. haha. since my parents no longer allow me to debate this year, i took another alternative to go to tournaments, which is to be an adj. haha. i was quite happy since i thought i will settle down as a panelist (or trainee. haha) and hence, no pressure.

but it didn't turn out that way. i was horrified (this is an understatement) to find myself chairing a debate in the first round! and maybe it was okay lahh if i was to judge some JC or secondary students, haha. but then i found myself in a room with good (or at least, better than me) university debaters. i felt so..inadequate. and out of place. haha.

but then i managed to chair the debate. HAHAHAHA. i felt like rolling on the floor crying. so after the debate has ended, the two other panelists and i made our decision, and it was a 2-1 split. God, i wished i was the dissenting one, but unfortunately i wasn't, so.. oral adj time --'

okay, note this. this is the first time i ever give an oral adjudication, and the pressure was very high since you have to satisfy the debaters and somehow convince them that you were right. i felt like it was my turn to debate, except that it was harder --' seriously lah, an oral adj speech is wayyy longer than 7 minutes. and believe me, since form 2, my speech have never exceeded the 7 minutes limit.

so anyways. i gave the oral adj. and they listened intently. i was hoping for more of a response that will suggest that they agree with me. but..no. no nodding or whatever. just some crumpled faces. haha. and suddenly someone from the losing side asked a question because he was dissatisfied with something. so i had to answer it. seriously, someone should have just come into the room and shoot me dead. seriously. it would have been much easier. haha.

i thought the matter will rest there. but after that, the losing team approached me personally and started asking questions. they seriously believed they should have won the debate. so i tried my best to, haha, convince them. and i can tell that they partially agree with me, but there are still some parts that they disagree with. haha. and come to think of it, i think my whole oral adj speech was laughable. seriously.

so anyways. i'm safe now, in one piece. i was not that keen to be giving any oral adj again.. and was very relieved to find myself as a panel in the 2nd round. so it was okay. 3rd round, i was a chair again, but it was okay since it was a silent round and no oral adj was needed. haha. last round, i was a panel. and i didn't break, as i thought so.

the losing team from the 3rd round approached me the next day to ask for my comments. HAHAHA. i was more confident with this one since they were from a JC and by right, they should be more gullible and easier to convince. haha. but they still somehow was dissatisfied with certain explanations i offered them. haha. i think i sucked a lot in explaining things. and up to now, i can really conclude, I HATE HATE HATE ORAL ADJUDICATIONS.

well, looking at the positive side, it was a new experience. haha. (a bad one too)

oh btw, team A won 2 rounds, and team B won one round. unfortunately i didn't get the chance to watch any of their debates ~~because no teams in my room were pulling out of the tournament. haha.~~

later in the 2nd evening, we watched the finals. it wasn't really a good debate, but it was okay lahh. at least i enjoyed the way they gave their speech and all of them were undoubtedly good speakers.

_________________________________________________________________

so, after that, no one was breaking, and we still had a very long day ahead. and yeahhh, we decided to spend the day going out and about and exploring Singapore!! yeahhhh!! we were lucky we had two Singaporeans with us (as our unofficial tour guides and advisors).

we took a bus from NTU to a MRT station. hahahah jakun gler sebab seriously lahh in JB, i always take a taxi, and never take a bus to go anywhere (except for lawatan sekolah or mukhayyam --'). and we bought MRT tickets!! hahaha! lawak sehh. and all the Malaysians were so excited looking around (or at least Dalila and Maryam and I).

so we went to Jurong Point (kot), decided it was boring and took an MRT to Bugis. hahaha. Singapore is so mobile, unlike JB. in JB you feel so unsafe when taking a bus or taxi, and there's no MRT (or LRT). haha. so, the journey took approximately 30 minutes, and i had fun observing Singapore or just the people in the MRT. it was so much fun compared to being in a car. haha. i know i sound like some pathetic kid, but seriously i was so jakun with good (and punctual) public transports. haha.

we went to Bugis street, to Banquet, to Golden Landmark Hotel, to Arab street, to everywhere we can. haha. i wish we went to Iluma, but there was no time since all the time allocated was so inadequate, even for shopping only. haha. so anyways, we bought some things for $2 and it felt so worth it. seriously lah, in Malaysia that thing will cost you about RM 10 or sometimes RM15. so i was satisfied with my purchase, haha. we also went to Zam Zam, and ate the best murtabak everrrrrrr. yes, everrrrrr!

thank you very much to our tour guides for suggesting such good places for us tourists. haha. i liked the way we had to walk on our feet to go to places there. it was a change compared to sitting in car and suddenly arriving right in front of that place. and suddenly Singapore felt so..alive. haha. in JB everyone sits at home watching TV, but there everyone seems to have something to do or just merely going out and about. haha.

ehh panjang gile i puji Singapore. so to neutralise it back, there are certain things i don't like about Singapore. haha, like it was quite hard to find Halal food or drinks. and the prayer room in NTU was so far away, it seems like they don't even want it to exist. the toilets were undoubtedly VERY CLEAN, seriously, but there are some things i don't like about it. haha. tapi takleh kutuk banyak sangat, i did said these things the other day just to see the response, and both Singaporeans got really defensive. haha. LOL, it was funny >.<

so anyways, thank you everyone. i had a great time being an adj and deciding who won the debate. and i also had a good time exploring Singapore. almost all the times were good times, haha (except for oral adj time --')

P.S. i tried to transfer the pictures but the laptop just can't read the memory card.. arghhhhhhh this is so depressing -.-

of thingssssss :) and current issues XD

2011-03-30T21:11:00.000+08:00

i'm happy to see all my friends are now opinionated *cewahh* and no longer go with the flow blindly. haha. i concede to the fact that everyone has the right to voice out their opinion (macam nak ubah laluan LOL). but not up to the extent that they have to oppose simply everything and do things their own way. well, if you want your opinion to be respected and listened to, then you should do the same to other's opinions (i.e. school's haha)

sometimes you just HAVE to follow. because the world does not revolve around you alone :)

i just realized that it's nearly April. and i'm still here; not studying. i feel so disappointed with myself XD study lahh everyone, study! i'm SERIOUSLY regretting all those wasted time and years --' and before i regret MORE, i better start now. hahahh rasa macam highly spirited sehh XD

i have only reached HALF of that Tun Mahathir's book! i mean, HALF! and i started more than a week ago! this is so embarrassing. and humiliating. and depressing because i want to move on quickly LOL.

i'm sorry i kind of ~~hate~~dislike you now ;P

someone made a request to MPP; tukarkan makcik kantin dengan yang lebih muda dan cantik. LOL. ingat nih night club ke? --'

i'm now into Politics (?)

2011-03-20T18:47:00.000+08:00

i am here to brag; (yes, read this in a bragging tone)

I FINALLY HAVE THIS BOOK!!!!

AHAHAHA GEMBIRA SEHHHHH ;D dah lama dah i mengidam nak baca, since it was first published. FINALLY, MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED, ALHAMDULILLAH. suke tawwww XD ahahaha.

and up to now, i have read less than half of it. haha. and I LOVE IT VERY VERY MUCH. i really encourage everyone to go and buy this book, it simply worth the money.

don't worry, i'm currently studying Physics too --' haihh. i promised my parents an A+ for Physics in SPM, so i'm currently working for it. hahaha :)

p.s. i am trying to restrict my times on the Internet, especially FB and blog, haha, and try to spend all those times on Chemistry and Biology and History and everythingggg --' pray for me :) and Batch13-ians, do the same too lah! ;D

i am an adjudicatorrrrr, haha XD

2011-03-14T21:52:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum everyone XD

in the semi-finals, a debater started her speech with assalamualaikum, and the whole room was like menganjing with an extremely long 'waalaikumsalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam'. i found it funny for a few seconds, but then i realized it was mean. haishh. i didn't do it though.

oh yes, i just got back from a debate competition in KDU.

and the best/funniest part of it was, i wasn't debating. hahahaha. it feels weird going to a competition and no one's pressuring you about your weak elaboration or your messy speech or your wrong approach. i felt lighter, haha, like there's no burden. okay whatever.

well, we started our journey at 5.30 am in the morning. we promised to meet at Shell station, i felt like a spy having a secret appointment in the middle of the night lol. stopped at Machap for prayers and breakfast, DALILA I AM VERY SORRY I BROKE YOUR IRON, PLEASE BE MAD AT ME :)

arrived in KDU at 10, the committee told us we had to pay a fine of RM30 because we were late, but we were quite unsure whether he was serious or not, but in the end we didn't pay. haha. oh yes, i forgot to mention, i was there not to debate, but to become a judge as every school is required to send one. so i judged a mock debate about homosexual Disney hero, sat for an adjudication test, and got myself placed as a panelist. WOOOHOOO ;D

Round 1 was fine, i judged with Surfi and a girl from SSP, both of them judged me before in IIU and Novice, haha the world is somehow twisted. one of the teams tried to approach me for personal feedbacks but i quickly ran away hahaha too afraid lah.

we got lost for 2 hours searching for our hotel, finally found it somewhere. ~~at first we thought we were coned by those ppl and the hotel doesn't exist haha~~. then we went to Sunway Giza for dinner and to buy A4 papers, haha, and bought LOTSSSSSS OF JUNK FOOD LOL macam orang jakun tak pernah jumpa. had a meeting in the night and up till now i'm still not sure why i should be there at all.

up and about for the next day, 4 more rounds yay! i judged with Taysher, then with Don Siron (nice experience XD), then with Atiq ;D oh yes i forgot to mention, from a panel i became a trainee for 2 rounds LOL. and i found out a trainee actually became a chair AND WAS A BREAKING ADJ, hahaha the world is so funny. oh yes another thing, they wrongly spelled my name as QariNAH and the next time it was QaNIRah. i tried to correct it, but they said it doesn't matter as long as i know it's me, WHATEVERRRRRRR --' suddenly everyone started calling me QariNAH, and someone though i purposely changed my name just for fun, HAHAHAHA i would not do that, not in a million years =.=

went to the Curve that night. got some book from Borders, bought a Bonjela from Watson's, planned to eat at TGIF but didn't and ate at Subway instead, decided that we still had space for something else so went to Baskin Robbins, ate Wonka Nerds after that, haha. i am amazed at our eating capabilities XD

the next day our school team broke 16th, won the octofinals against La Salle, lost the quarters to STAR. oh yes, when our school broke, we heard a takbir from someone at the back. it was from another school, and someone said they were so proud that at least an Islamic school broke. i feel so touched XD haha. Huzaifah got 7th best speaker. i AM soooooo proud of them all ;D

overall, it was nice to be meeting some familiar faces :) hahaha. talked to some, ignored some LOL. i somehow nearly convinced Michael to retire from debating, hahaha. it's not fun to be retiring alone and when people ask why, your answer will be SPMmmmmmmm --' SOOOO LAME.

stayed for finals, congratulations SDAR and Sri Permata. THE OVERALL BEST SPEAKER WAS FROM A SWING TEAM!! unheard of, but i'm proud to say i judged her once hahaha. slept shortly in the car, then stopped for dinner at an Arabic restaurant. everything was soooo Arab so everybody decided to speak Arab suddenly, i can still remember Kabaaaab Lahm and nobody knew what is ice in Arabic. haha. penat je belajar Arab bertahun2, last2 ice pun taktau --'

thank you everyone. this will be my last debate competition this year :) haha. knowing that i won't be debating again feels weird, it also feels nice, but i seriously will miss giving POI's :) good luck everyone for IIU and Musleh :)

paper bags and plastic hearts XD

2011-03-03T18:51:00.000+08:00

just so you know, plastic is a synthetic polymer made from the process of addition polymerisation. *sighhhhh* just now we were struggling to answer a Chemistry paper, and i did quite well. ingatkan kertas akan kosong je, tapi mungkin dapat 4/100 hahahaha nasib baik ada betul jugak kan.

hello everyone.

there are a lot of things currently happening in school, especially new rules, and which mostly i don't agree to. hahaha jahat betul. i wonder why i am becoming more rebellious from day to day. i used to be the person that never question anything, but right now i'm the exact opposite of my older self. ~~mungkin fitrah remaja LOL~~

right now in recess time no one can stay in class. and who is going to make sure of that? ME!!! hahahaha sepanjang tahun tak dapat rehat hahaha memang gembira *optimistic yeahh* sometimes i don't really have the heart to tell people to go out everyday but i have to, hmmm. though i don't really like this new rule but i admit it's necessary to prevent all these stealing cases from happening. ~~somehow a form of deterrence XD~~

oh btw, this saturday there will be a SMAT-V day and some sort of Hari Usahawan i think. and yes cepat ketawa kuat kuatttttt, i am joining the rocket making competition. yeayyyyyy big applause! this is quite an achievement since i never really got myself interested in rockets or anything that flies, i think they are scary. entah apa jadi rocket kitorang nanti ek jyhah and dalila XD

and yes, we also sent in our names to join another competition. i don't really know what it's about, i think it's about converting waste to green energy or something. ~~hahahahahah guna taik lembu jelaaa ape susah~~ i don't know why we [murshida, nadh, dalila, jyhah and i] suddenly decided to send in our names, but we just sort of..did. i think i will regret this XD tapi takpe, let's all try our best!

okay bye, got to study for maths! :) ~~cey cey kononlaaa nerd, loserlaaaaaa.~~

novice 2011; i really am a novice.

2011-02-22T21:32:00.000+08:00

i just got back from a debate tournament.

everyone has been asking how was it, and i just don't know how to answer haha. debate tournaments are complicated and hard to explain. hahaha. i think it's better if i write it here and i hope i don't have to repeat this again. walaupun i tak kisah sangat pun, tapi to a certain extent penatlaa jugak haha.

school sent 3 teams, and i was in the 2nd team. basically this tournament is/was for university debaters. tapi taktau kenapa ktorang menggedik masuk jugak. tapi who cares, there were other schools also.

my team went against UKM, Monash Uni, UiTM, UIA, UCTI. hahaha bapak ahh takut semua besar2 nampak tua lahh sey. rasa loser kenapa ktorang masih sekolah --' so we lost, won, won won and lost. 3 wins out of 5 rounds. the top 16 teams got to break, but unfortunately our team didn't break haha. so that was where our journey ends.

this competition to me, honestly, was just another competition that i went to. but for every competition, i learnt different new things. i know this is boring tapi nak cakap jugak hahahaha.

i learnt that i should not be selfish and think of only my own interest because the world does not revolve around me alone.

i learnt that i should listen to other people and do not ever underestimate anyone as they might always be better than me.

i learnt that i should have my own principle towards certain things and always try to stick to all of it because that's the only way to earn respect.

i learnt that i am supposed to treat other people the way they should be treated and should never let my emotions affect my judgements/actions.

most of all, i learnt that no one is supposed to act superior over someone else just because they think they are much better, that's just plain immature. you are supposed to help people, not condemning them as that will get nowhere. i'm sorry to say this but all my respect for you is now gone. please be more mature, i thought you knew this better but it is obvious that for all this while i have been thinking too nice about you.

thank you everyone, i had a great time. i also learnt lots, especially from you, yes YOU, i will try not to be like you. thank you very much.

________________________________________________

cehh apesal bunyi macam emo. hahahahaha.

oh btw, it's nice to get to normal routines again. everyone, i'm sorry if i have been ignoring you all this while, i didn't mean to do that. it's obvious i don't really know how to cope with things when they go out of hand. hahaha.

yes saya janji sekarang saya takkan abaikan lagi homeworks erkk --', ataupun kerja pengawas, atau KRS, atau kawan2, ya saya takkan ignore apa2 lagi, saya akan jadi normal schoolkid yang berjaya. ohyeahhhh!

hello everyone. hello school :)

SUKAN BEST WOOO ;D

2011-02-12T23:04:00.000+08:00

hahahahaha aku cuma nak jerit,

KUNING JUARA!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

kalau font size boleh besar lagi memang aku nak besarkan haha.

terima kasih semua ahli kuning, semua orang yang bukan kuning jugak, hijau merah biru semuanyaa lahh, SUKAN LAST MEMANG SUPERBBBBB!! yang penting semua enjoy dan gembira, tapi paling penting semoga Allah redha kita semua ♥

hahaha okay bye nak sambung senyum sorang2 dalam bilik (?) hahaha!

lepas ni sila focus SPM pulak ye. 2 minggu lagi UB1 :) haha rosak mood sukan betull.

lying flat down on the floor.

2011-02-04T00:34:00.000+08:00

it hurts when someone disappoints you. but it hurts even more when you disappoint yourself.

ahahaha that is so cheesy XD i am disappointed with myself because i'm not in a stable state, i can't even organize my time properly. konon bajet ada planner tapiiii --' i think i should hire someone to plan my life for me but the problem is i have no money. haaaa okay dah tak rational dah.

i always feel like i'm filling my time with lots of stupid unnecessary things which i did try my best to avoid but i just can't (i.e. eating for more than 30 minutes when it should only take 10) maybe i should seriously stop playing with my food and just eat it straight away.

oh yeah, and this year i can't sleep in class which is a VERY big problem since i don't sleep much at home. my seat can be seen directly from the front and it sucks even more to think that i brought this on myself. yelaa dulu awal tahun konon nak duduk situ sebab semangat2 belajar tapi last2 takleh tido haihhhhh.

i also made friends with people i never even thought of befriending them before. maybe because i finally learnt to open my mind and STOP judging everyone? but not everything will go my way. i also feel distant from some who used to be close to me. i don't know why but i have no time to make it right again sebab banyak sangat benda nak fikir so it remains that way. hahahahaha loser laaaaaa.

with so little things that have been done, while there are lots more to do, I SERIOUSLY FEEL VERY VERY VERYYYY GRATEFUL FOR THIS CNY HOLIDAY. THANK YOU ALLAH.

sejak sejak ni, kalau dah rasa buntu sangat, cepat je istighfar. HAHH TULAH KAU BILA SUSAH BARU NAK INGAT TUHAN. astaghfirullahalazim.

2011-01-27T22:35:00.000+08:00

alhamdulillah, sempat online sekejap.

I am very sorry to hear myself saying this, but I am desperately in need of more time. homeworks are piling, and it's always a wonder why the pile never decreases hahaha. asek nak tambah je. and there are a lot other responsibilities that should be prioritized compared to being online. mungkin memang macam ni hidup form 5? yes mungkin jugak.

memang susah nak cari masa sekarang, jadi memang kena limitkan masa online. ahahahaha rasa loser okay cakap macam ni sebab rasa macam nerd yang nak belajar setiap masa tapi ni bukanlah pilihan. haihh hidup memang macam ni.

TERUSKAN SENYUUUUM :))))))

Rabbi Yassir Wala Tu'assir

doa banyak banyak, semoga Allah bantu kita semua :)

2011-01-24T19:11:00.000+08:00

dalam hidup ni memang tak semua yang kita nak, kita boleh dapat. kadang kadang pengorbanan tu perlu walaupun hati tak rela. tapi kena belajar untuk redha. Allah kan sebaik baik perancang. IKHLASkan hati, semoga Allah balas dengan yang LEBIH BAIK. ya semua orang pun rasa jugak kesannya, tapi kita sama sama sabar, semoga Allah redha kita semua. ya memang ni tahun last, ya memang kecewa, ya memang sedih, ya memang memang MEMANGG. tapi paksa hati tu bukak luas luas, percaya semua yang berlaku ni memang yang terbaik untuk kita. sabarlah hati, SABARRRR.

oh yes i know i'm overreacting. tapi sukatilaaa memang sengaja nak overreact dan buat kecoh jugak sebab aku stress tapi takpe takpe takpe, ikhlaskan hatiiii ♥

hari ni tak terasa nak fikir apa apa lagi haihhhhhh --'

i don't like to jump.

2011-01-16T16:32:00.001+08:00

jadi janganlaa paksa aku lompat jauh!

_____________________________________________________

alhamdulillah masih hidup.

alhamdulillah masih ada laluan kat sekolah walaupun tak best.

alhamdulillah masih ada air kat sekolah walaupun nak tak nak je keluar.

alhamdulillah aircond kelas tak rosak macam kelas lain.

alhamdulillah boleh belajar walaupun bising gilaaaa pakcik indon tu.

alhamdulillah boleh online walaupun banyak homework tak siap lagi haha.

alhamdulillah boleh jalan walaupun kaki memang nak tertanggal.

alhamdulillah boleh cakap walaupun suara tak berapa nak sihat --'

alhamdulillah boleh join perbarisan walaupun kena balik malam.

alhamdulillah masih sempat training debate walaupun sibuk sukan.

alhamdulillah boleh lawan netball ~~dan menang esok~~ insyaAllah :)

hahahaha oh yes hidup memang hectic sangat. memang kena ada ketabahan sebab bila tengok to-do list berjela jela pastu fed up dan tak buat apa apa haishh lepas tu merungut. tak tak tak taknak merungut atau mengeluh lagi sebab tak bagus macam tu.

lepas ni mungkin tak selalu update. ~~sebab takde idea~~. lagipun dalam hidup ni memang kena ada PRIORITY kalau nak berjaya.

all the best semua! MERAH HIJAU BIRU KUNING ♥ semuaaa HEBATTT!

gasping for air bcuz school is so hectic.

2011-01-06T21:01:00.000+08:00

just GO. don't PAUSE.

hehh suka ayat ni. jumpa dalam novel :D

bismillah, alhamdulillah. today is my MOM'S BIRTHDAY :)

takde gambar sbb hari tu format laptop semua hilang urghhhhhhh.

May Allah guide every step you make. i can never elaborate enough on how much i love you ♥

___________________________________________________________

sekarang kat sekolah memang paling kena tabah lahh seyy. sebab laluan pun serabut, jauh, sempit, tertutup arghhhh. perhimpunan pagi kat musolla. perhimpunan pagi kat padang --' sebab budak SMIH dah makin ramai beranak pinak membiak biak sampai dewan pun kena jadikan kelas. nasib baik kelas sendiri masih ada aircond :') sejuuuuk hati.

_______________________________________________________________

A: kte rase kte dah nak kurangkan dengar lagu lagho.

B: kenapa tetibe?!

A: sebab kte rasa semua tu takkan membantu kte kat akhirat.

B: hmm, jadi nak tinggalkan Cobra Starship, Adam Lambert, Tokio Hotel, Yellowcard, The Ready Set, The All-American Rejects, Simple Plan, Green Day, Avril Lavigne, Taylor Swift, Paramore, semua semua tu?

A: *gulp telan air liur banyak2* ya, insyaAllah *muka semagi haha*

hohoho, bukan senang lahh sey kerja A.

doakan A supaya terus istiqamah di jalanNya :)

p.s. kawan2, sila sedar anda FORM5 dan 10 bulan more or less nak SPM --'

to be in 2011 :D

2011-01-02T22:01:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum 2011 :)

okay fine aku tahu, memang loser semua orang dah buat new year post tapi aku je terlambat FINE FINE FINE. oh yes, new year post memang typical and cliche and so on tapi aku sukaaaaa jugak sebab boleh review last year, plan next year dan bagitau satu dunia.

2010 is one of the best year i've ever gone through in life :)

aisehh geli lahh sey, cheesy punya line. dahlaa every end of year memang akan cakap camtu hahah loser betul. tapi setiap tahun memang best, and i'm appreciating every year :) okay there went a cheesy line again --' aku rasa memang 2010 buat aku makin jiwang dan cheesy dan sensitive dan macam perempuan? OMG.

2010 changed my perspective towards a lot of things. when i say a lot, it means SANGAT BANYAK TAK CUKUP JARI NAK KIRA OKAY. biar saya bagitau serba sedikit walaupun awak tak peduli pun saya nak bagitau jugak.

ONE; saya belajar untuk betulkan niat sebelum buat apa2. dan sentiasa betulkan niat di tengahnya. dan lepas selesai pun, muhasabah dan betulkan niat sekali lagi. memang selalu dengar tapi sebelum ni macam kisah pulak kann kalau orang cakap betulkan niat ke hapeee.

tapi tahun ni, setiap kali tersalah niat sikiiiiit je, mesti ade je yang tak kena. bila betulkan niat, ehh tetibe je okay balik. macam magic. ~~ahhh rindu harry potter~~. bila dah nampak sendiri effect salah niat tu, i pun cepat2 ikhlaskan diri.

TWO; saya belajar untuk tak membenci, tapi menyayangi. untuk tak dengar apa2 from one side je, kena mintak explanation from the other side jugak. untuk tak menghukum, tapi tegur dan tegur dan tegur lagi. untuk judge orang from a better perspective, jangan asek bersangka buruk je. ohh yes i betul2 dah belajar semua ni.

THREE; i don't know why, tahun ni, i selaaaalu rasa dekat sangat dengan mati. macam baru sedar, i'll die sooner or later. macam selalu diingatkan dengan kematian. seriously. dan setiap kali fikirkan mati, mesti rasa nak bertaubat cepat2 tapi lepas tu lupa balik --' tapi takpe, at least bertaubat kan. jom sama2 :)

okay dah cukup.

i started 2011 in a great way :) tak saya tak pergi sambut tahun baru tengok mercun countdowm 1-10. tak langsung. i sambut new year kat musolla, with them whom i love with all my heart, hehh nak sebut nama ke? okay nak sebut jugak. dengan Raihana Lina Ahidah Asma Safiyyah Aina Wani Raihan Khadijah Fitriyyah Syaima SarahLOVE SarahE dan semua semua mereka lahh. maaf kalau ada yang tertinggal.

masa tu semua orang tengah siapkan pamphlet, nametag, macam2 lahh untuk orientasi form1. sambil buat kerja, sambil bercakap oh yess memang macam perempuan kan? and from our conversation, banyak gilaaaa input i dapat okay. ktorang tak berbuak skema2 macam dalam MDP tak, berbual biasa je. tapi memang sumpah sukaaaa sangat!

haha memang kena tulis pasal ni kan walaupun takde sape nak baca --'

okay bye. tidur awal semua. esok SEKOLAH! WEEEEEEE! *saje buat2 teruja konon2 baru nak start sekolah padahal i spent most of my holidays at school --' haishh bilelaaa nak keluar sekolah nehhh :D*

Kem Debat 2010

2010-12-29T18:54:00.001+08:00

hehh ape segala jenis kem laa aku pergi cuti ni.

Kem Qiyadah, Kem Tahfiz, Kem Debat.

kalau takde effect jugak taktaulah kannn --' semoga ada.

okay, Kem Debat kali ni kat Tg Sutera, Sedili. sumpah cantekkkkk sangat okay tempat dye! serious tak tipu punya. lepas tu sukaaaaaaa sangat tengok sunrise dengan sunset kat tepi pantai ♥ cantekkkk sangat sampai rasa nak nangis guling guling haishh. dan swimming pool dye nampak sangat tempting tapi banat tak mandi pun =='

ini diaaaa, kolam yang teringinnnn sangat nak terjun. tapi takde rezeki.

one of the best things from this camp was, i got to converse in English. haha serious laa my English was rusty. nak cakap asek tergagap je. so sekarang alhamdulillah, dah back to normal. yelaaa memang kena cakap kat kem debat je, kalau cakap kat rumah atau sekolah macam pelik lah pulak kannn.

tak, i taknak cerita apa2 pasal kem debat. sebab malas nak ingat and describe balik semua benda ahahaha. takpe, simpan je semua benda dalam kepala dan hati sendiri.

mereka yang hebat! :D

Special thanks to; Ust Kamaliah, Ust Hawanis, semua guru2, semua fesi2 esp Seilam Daeng Amnah. seriously, terima kasih banyak banyak banyak sangat! tak lupa, semua AJK esp dalila rai falah!! seronok okay bekerja dgn korang walaupun penat --' terima kasih jugak semua peserta yg datang sebab bagi komitmen yg terbaik lahh!

semoga Allah redha kita semua :)

p.s. gambar ade kat fb. tapi bukan camera sendiri pun, raihana punya --'

hekhek bendahari kem nih rindu nak pegang duit banyak2 lagi haishh. sila pilih saya jadi bendahari lagi ya semua orang! hahahah

kem tahfiz terbaik lahh seyy!

2010-12-20T01:13:00.004+08:00

post kali ni agak cheesy mungkin. sappy jugak. tapi saya tak peduli.

KEM TAHFIZ DISEMBER 2010

memang kem tahfiz TERRRBAIK saya pernah pergi :)

serious tak tipu.

alhamdulillah, sempat murajaah beberapa juz. walaupun pegang 2 role; peserta + fesi. HAKHAK poyo laa. okay takdela fesi sangat pun, cuma kadang2 tolong ustazah tasmi' orang. best au tasmi' orang, tengok semua tergagap gagap HAHAHAHA. okay jahat. sebenarnya best, tengok semua orang bersungguh sungguh sangat :) walaupun kadang2 tertidur jugak dengar orang baca banyak sangat ~~macam Qurratu~~ tapi err, ya memang best.

kem tahfiz kali nih saya terasa sangat kesannya. macam masuk dalam hati pastu taknak keluar cewahh. saya suka sangat tazkirah Ustaz Muslim tiap2 hari selepas maghrib, kalau boleh taknak bagi habis masa je. suka sangat bila ustaz cerita pasal syurga :) bila ustaz cakap dalam syurga ada banyak buah yang sedap, ada orang kata,

A: B, ingatkan kte tau, nanti kat syurga, first sekali kte nak makan apple.

B: InsyaAllah. kita masuk syurga sama2 ya?

haha comel pulak dialog tu.

kem tahfiz kali ni, saya belajar untuk muhasabah balik semua benda yang saya buat. saya belajar untuk nampak dosa tu sebagai sesuatu yang berat, bukan boleh dibuat main. saya belajar dan sedar yang mati tu boleh datang bila2 je. saya pun taktau dari mana saya belajar semua ni. nih namanya pembelajaran tak rasmi. haha. dan tak lupa, saya belajar untuk jadi lebih tolerant. hehe. baru sedar selama nih saya persuasive rupanya.

kat kem tahfiz, saya rasa bahagiaaa sangat sebab dikelilingi orang2 yang baik insyaAllah. bila sekeliling kita penuh dengan orang baik2, kita pun bersemangat nak buat baik sama. sukaaa sangat malam terakhir, bila buat surprise untuk form3. walaupun dah kantoi sikit cesssss. tapi takpe, surprise jugak kan. masa tu, saya rasa semua gap dah hancur. taktaulaa kalau syok sendiri je rasa semua ni sorang2.

SUKAAA SANGAT BUDDY SAYA; NAJAH. hehe saje nak caps biar semua orang baca.

sukaaaa sangat geng SIPUT; qarirah asma syaima mun alya madi aqilah

sukaaaaa sangat semua orang2. tapi penatlaa nak tulis nama semua orang. adik2 form1 yang terlebih ceria, kanak2 form2 yang pelik semuanya, budak2 form3 yang NAK AMBIK RESULT haha saje nak takutkan, dan kawan2 form4 yang tinggal secebis tapi bermakna, awak awak semua special sangat dalam hati saya. tak tipu langsung.

saya ada banyaaaak sangat family. family yang kat rumah, family angkat, family susuan, family debate haha banyak laaa. dan salah satu yang saya sayang sangat sangat sangat,

FAMILY HUFFAZ SAYA.

saya sayang awak awak semua kerana Allah. betul tak tipu punya lah wehh.

get to reality, HOLIDAY IS OVER.

2010-12-04T14:51:00.000+08:00

i don't know why is it so hard to start a post. the first and last sentence are always the hardest for me to come out with. mungkin sebab tu dalam Islam kena mula dengan bismillah, habiskan dengan alhamdulillah? okay then, let's put that to practice.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

yeayy berjaya! hikhikhik excited pulak.

my holiday has nearly come to its end. yelaa sedihlaa sedih, sebab membazir betul cuti ni. AKU MASIH BELUM TENGOK HP7. tak sempat sempat haishh. tapi entah kenapa dah tengok Rapunzel pulak? walaupun Rapunzel best, NAK TENGOK HP7 LAA. ARGHH.

dan ya Murshida, sila tengok Narnia 9 December nanti tanpa saya. ohh yes saya memang suka semua orang memang nak leave out saya masa saya pergi kem tahfiz. PERGILAA SEMUA ORANG TENGOK NARNIA TAU 9 DECEMBER NANTI, SAYA NAK PERGI KEM TAHFIZ BYEEEEE.

hmm okay baiklah let's get over the gloom and despair, because i am MR BRIGHTSIDE! hmm teringat lagu Mr Brightside. hmm saya akan memandang kem tahfiz dengan pandangan positif. hmm POSITIF POSITIF! *memujuk diri sendiri*

i went to kem tahfiz since i was thirteen. cehh memanglah XD year after year, i have to spend 2 weeks ++ at this kem tahfiz, and i complain[ed] about it a lot. oh yes you should come to my house and hear me groan every day for a week before kem tahfiz.

don't get me wrong, saya bukan tak suka. it just ~~sucks and~~ not very fun to leave the pleasure of lazying around at home. i have to stop the routine of setiap hari bangun lewat, have breakfast at 11, read novels, watch movies, facebook, and semua yang orang buat time cuti lahh senang cerita.

and the worse part is, you have to get used to wake up at 4am AND NOT SLEEPING AGAIN, berebut toilet, duduk diam2 kat musolla for a couple of hours, force yourself to sleep after lunch sebab kalau tak tidur nanti mengantuk time kelas petang2, lepas tu tak boleh go to bed sukati ikut time sendiri, dan urghh semuanya tak seronok langsung.

and the worst part is, everytime you call your mom, she will say; HYE KAKAK KTORANG KAT JUSCO NI TENGAH SHOPPING KASUT, I'M SORRY YOUR NOT HERE. okay tipu takdela setiap kali call kat jusco, INGAT DIORANG KERJA COP DUIT KE HAHHH?!! HAHHH?!!!! cehh apesal emo. tapi cuma nak cakap, aku jeles laaaaaaaaaaa.

hahaha jahat betul semua benda yang aku describe pasal kem tahfiz. okay get ready, we are moving to the best part.

the truth is, eventhough i complain[ed] a lot, bila balik rumah i seem to forget all the things i've been complaining about. truth is, there was never a single kem tahfiz that i did not enjoy. oh yes this is very hard to admit, but i enjoy all the kem tahfiz(s) that i've went to. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF IT.

thanks to kem tahfiz(s), at least i don't feel like such a dreadful sinner. yelahh kalau kat rumah memang tak pernah buat apa2 yang berfaedah jadi memang patut rasa bersalah.

kalau kat kem tahfiz, tak boleh dengar lagu2 lagho sebab diri sendiri rasa bersalah. baru beberapa minit lepas baca Quran sekarang entah apa yang aku dengar ni?! jadi telinga kurang dosa :D

kat kem tahfiz tak boleh gosip langsung, okay tipu takdela macam tu, memang ada gosip tapi kurang sikit sebab semua orang sibuk baca Quran. kalau tak, nanti tak capai target pastu rasa loser. jadi mulut pun kurang dosa :D

kat kem tahfiz pun takde tengok movie2 yang tak soleh macam HARRY POTTER ATAU NARNIA [ya diri sendiri sila terasa banyak2] sebab nak tengok movie hapekebenda! kalau dapat pun, mungkin tengok saladin :') *blushing* alhamdulillah, mata pun kurang dosa :D

kesimpulan, saya rasa kem tahfiz dapat kurangkan aktiviti dosa saya yang giat berjalan sepanjang cuti, astaghfirullah. dan SANGAT BEST OKAY!, sebab dapat rapat dengan semua orang tanpa mengira peringkat umur mahupun hafazan (?) lepas tu setiap hari main game baru yang tak pernah dengar sebelum ni. oh memang awesome!

yes, i think i want to go to this year's kem tahfiz with a smile and a positive view. doakan saya kekal bertahan kat kem tahfiz, walaupun 11 DECEMBER ADA FAMILY DAY KAT COMPANY AYAH SAYA YANG SETIAP TAHUN SANGAT BEST DAN SAYA NAK PERGI SANGAAAAAAAAT MACAM MANE NI?! Ustazah Shahidah, kasi saya keluar sekejaaaap je 11 December nanti boleh, pleaseeeeee? :D

sorry post panjang membebel, mungkin sebab takkan jumpa blog ni lagi for the next two weeks haishh. okay bye.

eh lupa, kena habiskan dengan

ALHAMDULILLAH :)

Alhamdulillah.

2010-11-30T16:26:00.000+08:00

ALHAMDULILLAH, album saya banyak yang terjual.

ALHAMDULILLAH, konsert saya berjalan lancar.

ALHAMDULILLAH, family saya memang supportive, diorang tak kisah saya pakai seksi2 macam ni untuk career saya.

i'm tired of listening to people around me abusing that word.

ALHAMDULILLAH = praise be to Allah. segala puji bagi Allah.

oh yeahh, puji Allah atas maksiat kau? aku pun tak tau apa nak jadi.

the stranger thing is, most people don't use this word where it should be used.

dapat baju baru, lupa cakap alhamdulillah.

bila bangun tidur, lupa sebut alhamdulillah.

lepas makan pun, alhamdulillah masih takde.

LET'S TOGERTHER MAKE A CHANGE.

we have 24 hours daily, why don't take a few seconds to be grateful?

alhamdulillah.

cuti memang HEBAT oh yeahh!

2010-11-28T14:47:00.000+08:00

oh yes aku memang tengah nak berlagak sekarang ni. so bear with it sekejaaaap je.

hanphone aku rosak. sebab TERmasuk air dan memang loser tak boleh call atau text orang langsungggg, memang ah paling rasa isolated from the outside world. hidup aku pun keseorangan pastu penat nak jawab soalan WEHHH KENAPA TAK BALAS MSG?

malu tau nak jawab HANPHONE ROSAKKKK =='

so aku pun menggunakan kuasa veto sebagai kakak sulung dalam rumah ni HAHAHAHA sambil ketawa jahat, ambik phone adik sambil guna ayat pancing, EHH AKU LAGI BESAR DARI KAU JADI HANDPHONE LAGI PENTING UNTUK AKU. so, aku pun dapat guna handphone lama model Nokia. bila aku cakap lama, maksudnya memang jenis lama. yang takde camera radio bluetooth pun takdeeee. nasib baik screen bukan hitam putih.

hahh punya besar gambar aku letak supaya korang semua faham betapa tabahnya aku menjalani liku kehidupan bertemankan henfon kesayangan.

tapi semalam hikhikhik dah beli HENFON BARUUU! oh yeahh. selamat tinggal henfon buruk lama hodoh loser. aku pun pulangkan henfon tu kat adik dengan muka berlagak tayang2 henfon baru lalu berkata, terima kasih lahh ya bagi pinjam henfon tu XD

ohh tapi tak boleh cakap henfon apa yang baru tu sebab nanti riak sangat lah pulak. tak baik macam tu. cuma nak cakap je, henfon saya sekarang alhamdulillah ada bluetooth camera dan radio. walaupun tak mampu beli blackberry macam sesetengah orang, belajar bersyukur lahh kan.

p.s. ohh yes, siapa yang guna henfon lama macam tu, janganlah terasa ya apa yang saya cakap. saya kagum dengan anda semua sebab memang tabah boleh bertahan dengan henfon tu! saya tak sehebat awak awak semua :D

____________________________________________

i have lots of hobbies, and one of it is reading.

okay fine aku tau memang bunyi macam nerd geek freak semualahh tapi aku cuma nak ckap satu je, if you don't read, you are missing one of the greatest things in life. tak aku takkan cakap pasal faedah membaca jambatan ilmu blaa bla blaa so jangan risau.

during this holiday, aku dah baca *kira kira pakai jari* hmm mungkin dah 10 buku. buku komik action mystery islamik jiwang semua ada. oh yes reading is fun. once i started, i couldn't stop. you should really try it too.

tapi BILA PULAK NAK BACA BUKU SEKOLAH?! =='

tak sedar sedar nak form5 next year.

i got this from a book,

"kalau syaitan tak pernah meninggalkan kita,

kenapa kita berani untuk lupakan Allah sesaat pun?"

nice one.

2010-11-21T17:34:00.000+08:00

Turn around, I am here

If you want it's me you'll see

Doesn't count, far or near

I can hold you when you reach for me

I'm sorry I once left you behind.

But I'm right now here for you.

May Allah show you the right path, and bless you forever.

I miss you, honestly.

of holidays and eid and you.

2010-11-18T11:43:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha. i guess it's not too late to wish.

i really don't understand why is it so hard for me to socialize. hahaha. kalau kat kampung, i'll sit at one corner by myself, walaupun female cousins berlambak2, because i just don't know how to fit in. i just can't. it's easier to fit in with budak2 sekolah rendah atau tadika atau budak2 kecik. haha. maybe it's because i have so many adikS, i have to learn how to treat kids the way they want to be treated. haishhh =='

oh yeah, HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! :D

yesterday someone asked me, tahun depan tingkatan berapa? and it's hard to believe that i had to answer, FORM 5 MAKCIK. AHHHHH I FEEL SO OLD ==' kalau jawab darjah5 sukar pula untuk dipercayai. i think that was when reality strucked me, MY FORM 4 YEAR HAS ARRIVED TO ITS END. i don't know how a year has passed, but it certainly has :)

i'll kill siapa yang kata, FORM4 IS A HONEYMOON YEAR. I SWEAR IT WASN'T. honeymoon hapekebenda, macam nak separuh mati the way i struggled to cope up with everything. it was exhausting. i bet everybody felt the same too. i hope next year will be better. hahahaha BETTER LAH SANGAT ==' get ready jelahh :)

_______________________________________

routine holiday biasa untuk semua orang:

bangun lambat, cari makan, tidur balik, online fb, tengok tv, makan and so on.

oh yes that was my usual routine too. tapi semua orang patut buat hidup lebih bermakna, there's a lot more to do than just lazying around. sebab takut nanti bila Allah tanya masa lapang banyak2 buat apa? malu lahh pulak nak jawab tengok movie Harry Potter ==' at least cuba bagi jawapan, online fb tapi ada jugak baca alQuran dengan solat dhuha. so nanti taklahh malu sangat nak jawab.

someone once told me,

in a debate, if you feel nervous and you can't speak, what you should do is stand up as much as you can and give a lot of POI's. force yourself to speak before your turn. because after a while the fear will go away.

macam tu jugak dengan diri sendiri. kalau rasa malas penat bosan nak buat baik, what you should do is paksa diri baca alQuran banyak2, paksa diri bangun Qiam, paksa semua2 lahh. sebab lama2 rasa malas pun akan hilang. OH YEAHHH suka teori ni! ~~sebab ada kaitan dengan debate hahaha~~

p.s. hikhikhik cuti ni saya dah belajar minum susu! yeayyy! mungkin lepas ni patut belajar makan sayur =='

saya dah hafal 10 rukun bai'ah sekarang.

2010-11-12T22:17:00.000+08:00

alhamdulillah. kem Qiyadah dah habis.

i don't know why i am so eager nak update blog cepat sangat pasal kem ni. tapi memang patut update cepat. so masih ada feel lagi. hakhak loser lahh feel pulak.

saya rasa beruntung sangat dapat pergi kem ni. seriously, terima kasih baaaaaanyak sangat untuk semua orang, esp ustaz ustazah dan fesi2. semoga Allah balas kebaikan anda anda semua insyaAllah.

terima kasih juga pada semua yang bagi saya surat cinta. hikhikhik malu laaa :') terima kasih banyak banyak banyak, insyaAllah, saya akan manfaatkan semua yang tertulis dalam tu.

bila pergi kem Qiyadah ni, saya baru sedar yang saya dah banyak sangat tertinggal. semua orang dah jauh di depan, saya masih terhegeh hegeh menggedik kat belakang. tapi takpe, saya akan kejar semula awak awak yang dah ada kat depan. doakan yang terbaik untuk saya.

saya janji, ya, ini janji saya. semua orang sila baca. saya akan berubah, mungkin tak sekaligus, mungkin tak banyak. tapi yang penting, hari ini saya akan jadi lebih baik dari semalam. sebab saya tak nak jadi antara orang orang yang rugi. saya akan jadi orang yang lebih baik dari apa yang awak awak nampak sekarang, insyaAllah.

okay, sebab awak semua dah baca janji saya, saya nak tuntut hak saya. hahaha rasa loser. tapi takpe, teruskan. sebab majoriti yang akan baca ni adalah kawan kawan saya, jadi saya nak tuntut hak saya sebagai kawan awak awak semua. kalau suatu hati nanti saya tak ikut janji saya, saya nak awak semua ingatkan saya semula.

ya, saya serious laaa. jangan gelak. awak tunjukkanlah semula post nih kat saya. supaya saya ingat balik janji saya yang ini.

~~at the same time,~~ doakan yang terbaik untuk saya.

semoga Allah balas kebaikan awak awak semua.

p.s. ohh yeahhh Kem Qiadah memang superb! takbir!

i am sixteen, and grateful for it.

2010-11-06T17:44:00.000+08:00

hahaha. finally!

it took a long time for me to turn sixteen. yelahh sebab semua orang kata kalau dah sixteen dah qualify untuk ambik lesen motor. walaupun aku tak pernah teringin nak naik motor tapi tetap rasa ketinggalan jugak sebab mungkin satu hari nanti aku ada niat untuk merempit. tapi dekat trek lumba yang betul, bukan on the road at midnight. itu LOSER okay.

alhamdulillah. i turned sixteen yesterday, and the best part of it were/are family and friends. it felt nice to wake up to 469791073816 text messages from friends [oh yes, i'm exaggerating] and to the sounds of your family members wishing your birthday. and the greatest part of it was, no, not presents. i stopped getting birthday presents at the age of 14. yelahh kenapa kena dapat hadiah?! i did not do anything except to be born. tapi kalau semua orang nak bagi i will never reject.

thank you to everyone who prayed for me. may Allah bless all of you and me too.

and thank you Allah. for blessing me throughout my sixteen years of life. i will never leave you. ameen.

ahhh i really want to go to Italy. tickets anyone?

things i don't understand about exams.

2010-11-04T18:16:00.000+08:00

i am somehow dead right now.

essay BM aku adalah sangat loser okay. i have just realized. i feel stupid and am ashamed of my essay. i hope i didn't hand it in. but i did. and i'm regretting.

maybe i should practice speaking in perfect malay. like, 'MARI PERGI KE PASAR RAYA GIANT' eww eww ewww.

baiklah, beberapa perkara yang saya tidak pernah faham tentang ~~exam~~ peperiksaan. mari kita teliti bersama-sama.

saya tidak faham kenapa semua orang selalu kurang masa tidur kalau minggu peperiksaan. saya selalu terlebih tidur. masa menjawab adalah 2 jam 30 minit, kenapa lama sangat?! saya bukannya tahu sangat apa nak jawab. maka tidur adalah penyelesaian terbaik, berbanding termenung lama-lama dan tak dapat pun jawapan yang betul. akhirnya semua pun salah juga. sungguh tak bermakna.

saya tidak faham kenapa FIZIK, KIMIA DAN BIOLOGI (eww geli geli) mesti ada 3 kertas. kenapa banyak sangat soalan dia nak tanya saya?! saya bukannya ada banyak sangat pengetahuan. 10 soalan sahaja patutnya sudah memadai.

saya tidak faham kenapa kita semua perlu berdiam diri dan tidak boleh bercakap sepanjang peperiksaan. 2 jam setengah adalah tempoh yang sangat lama. saya selalu menyanyi seorang diri setiap 15 minit sebab saya nak pastikan suara saya masih ada. saya tak pandai diam lama-lama. saya risau kalau tiba-tiba saya keluar kelas dan sudah bisu. saya takut.

saya tidak faham kenapa dulu boleh ~~study at the last minute~~ belajar di minit terakhir tapi sekarang dah tak boleh. mungkin sebab subjek semakin susah. saya rasa mungkin semua orang patut mula belajar setahun sebelum peperiksaan hahaha. tiada siapa mati akibat terlalu banyak belajar, kata ayah najihah.

saya paling tidak faham kenapa orang kata, semasa minggu peperiksaan tidak patut log masuk di facebook. HAHA LOSER NAK MATI LOG MASUK. KALAU ONLINE? HIDUPKAN TALIAN FACEBOOK. sebenarnya, semua orang patut ONLINE JELAAA! APA AKU KESAH HAHHH?! BELAJAR KE TAK MACAM LOSER JUGAK AKU JAWAB!!!!! PENAT JE AKU TIDUR PUKUL 2 PAGI LEPAS TU AKU JAWAB SEMUA SALAH!!!!!!

huhhh. benci physics dan chemistry.

isu kahwin muda HAHAHA.

2010-10-26T18:12:00.000+08:00

cehh tengok tajuk mesti semua orang excited.

sekarang final exam. tapi yelahh nak buat macam mana memang terpaksa online dan update blog. kalah dengan nafsu errr. tapi takpe, saya berazam untuk study bersungguh-sungguh malam ni. YEAHH! *muka bersemangat* lepas nih kena jawab exam elok2 sebab nak tebus balik paper aqidah yang sangat entah pape tadi.

tadi dah buat anggaran markah aqidah sendiri. mungkin dapat 15. atau 20. HAHAHA. takpe at least ada markah lahh kannn?

okay doakan semua orang berjaya jawab exam yang semakin hari semakin mengganas

baiklah, berbalik kepada tajuk. kalau buat karangan BM camni memang kena potong markah sebab asek lari tajuk je hahaha. ehh i fell in love with my own english essay. tapi memang boleh suka sendiri je. entah bila orang yang tanda essay tu nak suka pulakk haishh -.-

ehh okay kembali kepada tajuk. tadi dah bukak satu blog ni. owner blog adalah perempuan 16 tahun. dan dia dah kahwin OMG OMG. yes serious, ENAM BELAS TAHUN, MARRIED. ceh saje nak buat besar2 supaya semua orang faham. masa mula2 aku baca pun macam nak mati terkejut. dia baru kahwin 8 October hari tu. baru lagiii.

tapi saje taknak bagi link blog dia kat semua orang hahahaha.

macam tak percaya pun adelahh. sangat jeles bila baca blog dia HAHAHA. cehh loser. tapi memang susah nak percaya kenapa dia 16 tahun dah kahwin dah?! eyyy macam ngeri je kawen muda2. nanti tak boleh nak buat benda best lagi. tapi kenapa muka dia bahagia sangat?! *baca seluruh perenggan dengan nada tak puas hati*

kalau aku cakap dengan mama nak kawen sekarang? HAHAHA memang dapat penampar sebijik -.- carik pasal lagii.

hahaha okay bye. dah dah jangan berangan lagilahh semua orang. pergi study cepat. back to reality, esok PQS lahhh -.-